My best birthday gift last year, when I turned 70, was a surprise visit from my daughter, son-in-law, and my two youngest granddaughters. It had been a long time since we’d breathed the same air. That first hug, one neither my daughter nor I wanted to end, reminded me just how much I’d missed them. It was a short visit, just a day, but it filled my heart and renewed my resolve to make sure the next one comes much sooner.
But the visit also took me back to my continued computer saga and brought another lesson.
As I’ve shared here, my aging computer had been acting up for weeks, despite all efforts to fix it. When my son-in-law saw what was happening, he gently said what I already knew: “It might be time for a new one.” And then, with the kind of generosity I won’t forget, he and my daughter offered to gift me a new computer for my birthday.
Setting it up brought the usual learning curve. Software may look the same, but operating systems have changed. And while my brother-in-law helped with the setup, what surprised me most was how incredibly helpful the FAQs were.
Honestly, I used to skip past them. But this time, they became guideposts.
It made me realize: the most helpful part isn’t always the answer. It is knowing what to ask.
Those lists of “Frequently Asked Questions” helped me find the information I needed (when I needed it), not just because it had the answers, but because someone else had taken the time to name the questions. They anticipated what would show up. They knew where the friction would be. They gave the uncertainty a shape and with it, a way forward.
It made me realize how helpful that is in many other places and ways.
Growth Begins with Questions
We often think growth begins with solving problems. But more often, it begins by paying attention to the questions that keep showing up.
The ones that arise in unplanned moments.
On hard days.
Or just before something shifts.
These become our personal FAQs, the foundational questions that shape how we plan, reflect, and decide.
The Five Questions That Keep Finding Me
These five questions are currently my FAQs. They have become my navigational beacons. They show up in my journal, my weekly planning, my quarterly check-ins, and whenever I need to discern my next step.
1. What does this make possible?
This is my compass. It turns detours into doorways and unlocks creative resilience. It’s how I stay open to becoming, especially in seasons of transition. Everything begins here.
2. Am I aligned with what matters most right now?
This one checks for drift. It’s my tether to values, season, and integrity in action. It’s not about my ideal self—but my real one.
3. Where is my energy being invited—or resisted?
Energy leaves clues. This question helps me to follow them. It allows whispers to work before they have to become screams!
4. What is mine to do?
Not everything is mine to do. But something is. This question helps me clarify my essential edge in life and work. It’s what only I can do in this moment, this space, this story.
5. Am I ready for what’s next?
Or put another way: Am I preparing for what I say I want? Because in the end, that’s what it means to be ready. Desire without structure rarely becomes reality. This question helps me build scaffolding for what I’m growing toward.
These Questions Are Living Things
Sometimes I speak them out loud. Sometimes I write them down. Sometimes I just sit with them.
They’re not static. They evolve. But they continue to help me move through this season with more clarity, more ease, and yes—more possibility.
They’ve helped me:
- Define my next steps
- Reframe challenges
- Reclaim energy when I’ve felt off-course
They are not just reflective tools. They are companions.
“We live in the world our questions create.”
— David Cooperrider
What’s on Your Personal FAQ Page?
I offer my FAQs, not as a formula to follow, but as an invitation to start noticing your own repeat questions.
- What do you ask when you feel lost?
- What questions pull you forward when everything feels uncertain?
- Which ones feel like home when the map no longer fits the terrain?
Start there.
