Welcome to the fifth and final installment of our Personal FAQs series, where we explore questions that can guide us as we continuously recenter, realign, and move forward with clarity throughout our lives.
To make it easier to ask questions that are relevant to where we are and what we need at any juncture, we have been reviewing five FAQs domains.
We move now to our final domain, Growth & Legacy.
The Five Personal FAQ Domains:
- Identity & Purpose
- Work & Contribution
- Decision-Making & Direction
- Integration & Rhythm
- Growth & Legacy
Growth & Legacy
Some time ago, I wrote an article that has stayed with me. In fact, it’s one of my favorite pieces of my own writing if I’m allowed to admit that! The title of that message was this: Do Recipes Make You a Better Cook?
As I was thinking about writing this final chapter of our FAQ series, I realized that while we’re discussing a specific domain, we’re also covering everything we’ve been reviewing together, because these FAQs culminate in two very specific outcomes. Growth and Legacy. They are stretching us, and in doing that, they are helping us leave our mark.
In that article, I shared the story of Chef Daniel Patterson. But the first question wasn’t about recipes. It was about GPS guidance systems. You see, Chef Patterson had gotten a new car, and it came with the then-default feature of GPS and navigation assistance. Initially, he resisted using it.
Then the day came when he decided to go ahead and take advantage of the technology. Before long, he recognized, like many of us, he had become dependent on it. Even when he went to places he frequented, he found himself relying on it. He was blindly following directions with no notice of his surroundings or where he was going.
When he realized what was happening, it startled him, and he began asking himself where else in life he (we) might be doing the same thing. Since he’s a chef, he naturally looked first at his world. Hence, the next question is whether recipes make us better cooks.
In fact, he himself wrote an entire article about it. It’s an excellent piece, and I encourage you to read it.
These words from that article were what inspired my own and brought it back to mind for this week’s message and wrapping up our series:
“Part of the problem with recipes today is that they seem to be predicated on the idea that a good recipe should eliminate the possibility of mistakes. But here’s a secret: Good cooks make mistakes all the time. They take wrong turns and end up in strange places. Their attention sharpens as they try to figure out where they are and how they got there. Eventually, they either reach their original destination or discover that wherever they stumbled into is really the best place to be. Sometimes it’s important to get lost.”
Here’s what I wrote in my essay:
We are faced every day with “recipes.” Use these methods, these tools. Take each step in this order. Make sure you don’t substitute anything. In other words, if you want it to work, don’t change anything. In life and our work, I’m sure you recognize and hear the message as much as I do.
But what if that’s not right? What if the best result comes from using the recipe as a starting point rather than a rulebook? What if we start experimenting and venturing forward as creators and find our own results? That has far more appeal for me.
I want to encourage you to see the concept of FAQs or any guidance questions in this way. They are not meant to be prescriptive. They are meant, in fact, to help you get a little lost so that you can, in turn, find your way. They are simply a starting point. Experiment with them and venture out as the creator of your own, over and over again.
Remember that growth and legacy are the culmination of everything we’ve been exploring together. Identity, work, decisions, and rhythm set the stage, but growth is what keeps it alive, and legacy is what ensures it outlives us.
Why It Matters
Without growth and legacy, our questions risk being self-contained. Useful perhaps, but limited. When we add this domain, we stretch our perspective forward and outward. We begin to see that what we learn, contribute, and embody is not only for ourselves, but also for those who come after us.
This domain asks us to think about continuity.
What carries forward because we were here?
What are we making possible?
What to Look For
You’ll know it’s time to pay attention to this domain when:
- Old answers start to feel too small for who you’re becoming.
- Others have started asking you for guidance, wisdom, or stories from your own journey.
- You’re unsure whether you are investing your time and energy in things that will last beyond your life or even this season.
- You begin to see traces of your influence showing up in the work, words, or choices of others.
- You want to shift your focus from what you’re achieving to the idea of impact.
Growth and Legacy FAQs
Remember that these FAQs aren’t about grand revelations. They are about grounding. They are prompts designed to invite honesty and curiosity about our current and future state. Only choose those that resonate with you for the season you are in.
Here are a few starting points for the domain of Growth & Legacy:
- What can I be learning now that future-me will thank me for?
- How can I grow in ways that expand what’s possible for others?
- What do I want to grow with me, and what do I want to grow beyond me?
- How can I be intentional about the influence my choices create?
- How can I define and live my legacy right now through achievement, relationships, values, or something else?
- What stories can I be shaping today that reflect the life I want to live?
How do you know you’re asking the right questions?
- When your questions stir both hope and responsibility.
- When they anchor you in today while opening a window to tomorrow.
- When they shift your thinking from “what’s in it for me?” to “what’s possible because of me?”
Which brings us back to where we started. Do recipes make you a better cook? Not on their own. But they give you a starting point, a structure, a spark. The same is true here.
And that’s the point. It was never just about the questions. It’s about what they guide you to see, to choose, and to create.
Here’s one final thought from Chef Patterson to help:
“Cookbooks should teach us how to cook, not just follow instructions. By paying attention, a cook should be able to internalize the process, rendering the written recipes obsolete. The point of a recipe should be to help us find our own way.”
Read the recipe (FAQ). Learn from it. Then close the book. Create your masterpiece in cooking and in life.
Why? Because your FAQs are not meant to stay on the page. They’re meant to guide your next steps.
This Week’s Additional Resources:
- The Second Mountain by David Brooks
- David Whyte’s poem “What to Remember When Waking”
- Holy Moments by Matthew Kelly
- The Rhythm of Life by Matthew Kelly
- Adjusted Sails: What Does This Make Possible by Kathi Laughman (Included with Kindle Unlimited)
