We make assumptions about how and to whom we matter in the world. Those will stem from our own beliefs and perspectives about the contributions we make.

And yet, sometimes what is most impactful about our lives isn’t readily visible to us. We will not always know where we are making the most profound difference.

You see, each of us is a miracle. Each of us comes into this life with our own soul print, and we make a difference every day. Even when we aren’t really conscious of it.

Let me tell you a story that brings this vividly to life. In the 1950’s, two men worked in a factory in northern Ohio. One of them worked the afternoon shift and the other the night shift. They did not know each other. Yet their lives would intersect and create profound change.

The young man working second shift had just finished his tour of duty as a Marine during the Korean War. He and his bride had moved from West Virginia to Ohio in search of better opportunities. He often worked the night shift in addition to his regular hours for extra income. One night, he was doing just that when he was assigned to a machine next to the other man in our story. Bear in mind that this was not mentally taxing work. In fact, boredom was something they continuously contended with, each in their own way.

That night, over the humming of the machines, our young Marine heard a very distinctive voice talking about all of his possibilities and how to reach all of those goals he had set for himself simply by changing his thoughts. It was as if this man were speaking directly to him. And so he went in search of the source and found the other man listening to a portable radio. The man speaking on the radio was Earl Nightingale. It was a life-changing moment.

Immediately, our young Marine was determined! He decided to take on an extra job rather than just extra shifts to earn enough money to buy his own portable radio. He had discovered his mentor even before he knew what a mentor was, and did not want to miss a single opportunity to hear more! That encounter changed his life. That extra job? It was working as an attendant and mechanic at a local gas station. What happened? Ultimately, he didn’t just show up because he worked there as a mechanic. In time, he showed up because he owned the business.

I doubt that the other man in the story, if asked, would tell us that the most important thing he did that day was take his radio to work. He wouldn’t say that he changed lives just by listening to his radio. But for that young Marine, undoubtedly that was the case. It set his life on a different course. And as a result, it did the same for mine. That young Marine was my Dad.

Throughout my life, what I learned most from him, beyond the values of faith and family, was the miracle of personal leadership and development. He defied all of the odds. He surpassed every expectation. A deeply spiritual man, he did it all with quiet grace and humility, a legacy that endures.

There was never a time that he was not reading or later listening to recordings and tapes. In fact, I still have his books and some of those early recordings! From that late-night shift in the factory until his last breath on earth, my Dad lived a life that celebrated learning and growth every day.

My Dad. He never lost sight of who he was. He never lost his vision of who he could become. And he never stopped growing into that man. He lived that legacy every day of his life. As a result, other lives were changed. And his legacy lives on in those lives. Including mine.

Thank you, Dad, for always showing us not only who you were but who we could be. Thank you for being a living example of how to become that person more every day. And thank you to the gentleman who was part of God’s plan for our lives and brought his radio to work so all of this would begin!

We recently crossed off the day on the calendar that was the 46th anniversary of my Dad’s death. In the earlier years, that day always brought some sadness, but over the course of my life, that has changed because I have recognized how everything about him has shaped me, even his death.

And so I share this story with you in memory and honor of him, and as a reminder to us all that while our time here may be brief, it is never without value.

I strive to always remember, as Earl Nightingale taught my Dad and he ultimately taught me:

“Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.”

Live today like you want tomorrow to be.

Live well.

The post Take your radio to work day! appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

Welcome to the fifth and final installment of our Personal FAQs series, where we explore questions that can guide us as we continuously recenter, realign, and move forward with clarity throughout our lives.

To make it easier to ask questions that are relevant to where we are and what we need at any juncture, we have been reviewing five FAQs domains.

We move now to our final domain, Growth & Legacy.

The Five Personal FAQ Domains:

1. Identity & Purpose
2. Work & Contribution
3. Decision-Making & Direction
4. Integration & Rhythm
5. Growth & Legacy

Growth & Legacy

Some time ago, I wrote an article that has stayed with me. In fact, it’s one of my favorite pieces of my own writing if I’m allowed to admit that! The title of that message was this: Do Recipes Make You a Better Cook? 
 
As I was thinking about writing this final chapter of our FAQ series, I realized that while we’re discussing a specific domain, we’re also covering everything we’ve been reviewing together, because these FAQs culminate in two very specific outcomes. Growth and Legacy. They are stretching us, and in doing that, they are helping us leave our mark.
 
In that article, I shared the story of Chef Daniel Patterson. But the first question wasn’t about recipes. It was about GPS guidance systems. You see, Chef Patterson had gotten a new car, and it came with the then-default feature of GPS and navigation assistance. Initially, he resisted using it.
 
Then the day came when he decided to go ahead and take advantage of the technology. Before long, he recognized, like many of us, he had become dependent on it. Even when he went to places he frequented, he found himself relying on it. He was blindly following directions with no notice of his surroundings or where he was going.
 
When he realized what was happening, it startled him, and he began asking himself where else in life he (we) might be doing the same thing. Since he’s a chef, he naturally looked first at his world. Hence, the next question is whether recipes make us better cooks.
 
In fact, he himself wrote an entire article about it. It’s an excellent piece, and I encourage you to read it.

These words from that article were what inspired my own and brought it back to mind for this week’s message and wrapping up our series:
 
“Part of the problem with recipes today is that they seem to be predicated on the idea that a good recipe should eliminate the possibility of mistakes. But here’s a secret: Good cooks make mistakes all the time. They take wrong turns and end up in strange places. Their attention sharpens as they try to figure out where they are and how they got there. Eventually, they either reach their original destination or discover that wherever they stumbled into is really the best place to be. Sometimes it’s important to get lost.” 

Here’s what I wrote in my essay:
 
We are faced every day with “recipes.” Use these methods, these tools. Take each step in this order. Make sure you don’t substitute anything. In other words, if you want it to work, don’t change anything. In life and our work, I’m sure you recognize and hear the message as much as I do.

But what if that’s not right? What if the best result comes from using the recipe as a starting point rather than a rulebook? What if we start experimenting and venturing forward as creators and find our own results? That has far more appeal for me.
 
I want to encourage you to see the concept of FAQs or any guidance questions in this way. They are not meant to be prescriptive. They are meant, in fact, to help you get a little lost so that you can, in turn, find your way. They are simply a starting point. Experiment with them and venture out as the creator of your own, over and over again.
 
Remember that growth and legacy are the culmination of everything we’ve been exploring together. Identity, work, decisions, and rhythm set the stage, but growth is what keeps it alive, and legacy is what ensures it outlives us.

Why It Matters

Without growth and legacy, our questions risk being self-contained. Useful perhaps, but limited. When we add this domain, we stretch our perspective forward and outward. We begin to see that what we learn, contribute, and embody is not only for ourselves, but also for those who come after us.
 
This domain asks us to think about continuity.
 
What carries forward because we were here?

What are we making possible?

What to Look For

You’ll know it’s time to pay attention to this domain when: 

• Old answers start to feel too small for who you’re becoming.
• Others have started asking you for guidance, wisdom, or stories from your own journey.
• You’re unsure whether you are investing your time and energy in things that will last beyond your life or even this season.
• You begin to see traces of your influence showing up in the work, words, or choices of others.
• You want to shift your focus from what you’re achieving to the idea of impact.

Growth and Legacy FAQs

Remember that these FAQs aren’t about grand revelations. They are about grounding. They are prompts designed to invite honesty and curiosity about our current and future state. Only choose those that resonate with you for the season you are in.

Here are a few starting points for the domain of Growth & Legacy: 

• What can I be learning now that future-me will thank me for?
• How can I grow in ways that expand what’s possible for others?
• What do I want to grow with me, and what do I want to grow beyond me?
• How can I be intentional about the influence my choices create?
• How can I define and live my legacy right now through achievement, relationships, values, or something else?
• What stories can I be shaping today that reflect the life I want to live?

How do you know you’re asking the right questions? 

• When your questions stir both hope and responsibility.
• When they anchor you in today while opening a window to tomorrow.
• When they shift your thinking from “what’s in it for me?” to “what’s possible because of me?”

Which brings us back to where we started. Do recipes make you a better cook? Not on their own. But they give you a starting point, a structure, a spark. The same is true here.

And that’s the point. It was never just about the questions. It’s about what they guide you to see, to choose, and to create.
 
Here’s one final thought from Chef Patterson to help:
 
“Cookbooks should teach us how to cook, not just follow instructions. By paying attention, a cook should be able to internalize the process, rendering the written recipes obsolete. The point of a recipe should be to help us find our own way.” 

Read the recipe (FAQ). Learn from it. Then close the book. Create your masterpiece in cooking and in life.
 
Why? Because your FAQs are not meant to stay on the page. They’re meant to guide your next steps.

This Week’s Additional Resources:

• The Second Mountain by David Brooks
• David Whyte’s poem “What to Remember When Waking”
• Holy Moments by Matthew Kelly
• The Rhythm of Life by Matthew Kelly
• Adjusted Sails: What Does This Make Possible by Kathi Laughman (Included with Kindle Unlimited)

The post FAQ Series: Growth & Legacy – What will you make possible? appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

Welcome to the fourth installment of our Personal FAQs series, where we are exploring questions that can serve us as we continuously recenter, realign, and move forward with clarity throughout our lives.

To make it easier to have questions that can help based on where we are and what we need at any juncture, we are looking at five different FAQs domains.

We have covered the first three domains and are moving on to Integration and Rhythm.

The Five Personal FAQ Domains:

1. Identity & Purpose
2. Work & Contribution
3. Decision-Making & Direction
4. Integration & Rhythm
5. Growth & Legacy

Integration & Rhythm

When you live your life
in harmony with your purpose,
there is no conflict or dissonance,
only clarity and direction.
~Kathi Laughman

This week’s topic is one of my favorites because I have spent much of my professional life focused on how to use effective integration to create bridges. Whether it has been between various groups, companies, trading partners, software solutions, or even entire industries, effective integration has been, for me, the ultimate playground for innovation.

Whether we are talking about our life, our work, or any of our roles, it isn’t about balancing competing silos. Like a beautiful tapestry, integration is about weaving things together. Then the rhythm is the tempo. It’s how your commitments, values, and energy flow together without forcing harmony where it doesn’t exist.

But even more than those silos, it’s key to know that integration isn’t about smashing all the pieces of a disparate group into one tidy puzzle. It’s more like jazz. Each instrument (your roles, goals, commitments, values) has its own sound, but the music only works when they listen to one another.

Rhythm provides the tempo, the pacing, the groove that keeps the music going.

Integration is about coherence; rhythm is about sustainability.

The most important thing I look for in a musician
is whether he knows how to listen.
~ Duke Ellington

Why It Matters

When we live without integration, life sounds more like competing noise than music. When we live without rhythm, even good things wear us down because we’re out of tempo. Together, integration and rhythm help us create a life that works in harmony, not because everything is easy, but because everything fits.

Without rhythm, even integrated priorities collapse under exhaustion. Integration ensures alignment, while rhythm ensures longevity.

What to Look For

• Are your priorities creating harmony or dissonance?
• Do your commitments flow together, or do they compete?
• Is your pace sustainable, or are you sprinting through a marathon?
• Do you have natural “rests” built in, like pauses in a song, that make the music stronger?
• Is your calendar consistent with your deeper story?

It’s taken me all my life to learn what not to play.
~Dizzy Gillespie

Integration and Rhythm FAQs:

Remember that these FAQs aren’t about grand revelations. They are about grounding. They are prompts designed to invite honesty and curiosity about our current and future state. Only choose those that resonate with you for the season you are in.

• What daily or weekly rhythms help me feel most alive and support my best work?
• What would integration look like if I treated my life less like a checklist and more like a composition? (My personal favorite!)
• What is the integration I’ve been resisting?
• Where do I need to slow down or speed up to restore balance?
• Where in my life do I feel most “out of tune,” and what would bring it back into harmony?
• How can I create natural pauses or “rests” in my schedule that strengthen the overall flow?

How do you know you’re asking the right questions?  

• The noise starts to quiet.
• You begin to notice less friction and more flow.
• You no longer feel like you’re juggling parts.
• Instead, you feel like you’re directing an ensemble.
• There’s a sense of coherence between what you want and what you’re doing.
• Your calendar feels like an ally instead of an enemy.

Integration and rhythm aren’t about perfect balance. They are essentially about freedom. Like jazz, the beauty isn’t in playing every note, but in choosing the right ones, and leaving space where silence belongs.

When your life begins to sound more like music than noise, you know you’ve found your rhythm. And from that rhythm, possibility opens. Not because you control every beat, but because you trust yourself enough to improvise.

And, by the way, here’s the best part: when you find your rhythm, you make space for others to join in. The music grows, the themes expand, and what you’ve created becomes more than a moment. It becomes a legacy. That’s where we’re headed next: Growth & Legacy.

This Week’s Additional Resources:

Note: This domain’s resources are a reading list I’ve put together for you because so many of you have said this is an area where you face the greatest resistance.

The idea, even fear, of doing less to accomplish more is so foreign to us that it’s no wonder we push back on that harder than anything. Each of these books speaks to something in that ongoing riff we have going with ourselves.

Check them out and then choose the one that makes the back of your neck tingle a bit. It’s likely the one you most need to read next. 

• The Art of Possibility — Rosamund Stone Zander & Benjamin Zander

Blends the perspectives of a symphony conductor and a psychotherapist to show how possibility thinking reshapes how we work, create, and live. A beautiful reminder that life, like music, expands when we choose to see what’s possible.

• Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less — Alex Soojung-Kim Pang

Challenges the myth that harder work equals better results. Pang draws on science and stories from great thinkers (from Darwin to Stephen King) to show why deliberate rest fuels creativity and productivity.

• The Infinite Game – Simon Sinek

Finite games, like football or chess, have known players, fixed rules, and a clear endpoint. The winners and losers are easily identified. Infinite games, games with no finish line, like business or politics, or life itself, have players who come and go. (Think of a symphony vs. a jazz trio).  Simon Sinek offers a framework for leading (and living) with a commitment to a vision of a future world so appealing that we will build it week after week, month after month, year after year, even though we do not know the exact form this world will take. 

• Slow Productivity – Cal Newport

Drawing from deep research on the habits and mindsets of a varied cast of storied thinkers from Galileo and Isaac Newton to Jane Austen and Georgia O’Keeffe, Newport lays out the key principles of “slow productivity,” a more sustainable alternative to the aimless overwhelm that defines our current moment.

• Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience – Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

During flow, people typically experience deep enjoyment, creativity, and total involvement with life. Csikszentmihalyi demonstrates the ways this positive state can be controlled, not just left to chance, so that we can discover true happiness, unlock our potential, and greatly improve the quality of our lives.

• Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives – Richard A. Swenson

Margin is the space that once existed between ourselves and our limits. Today, most of our lives are marginless as we battle overwhelm, burnout, and hurry. But there is a path to the life of balance and peace we crave. The benefits can be good health, financial stability, fulfilling relationships, and availability for your divine purpose.

• Elastic Habits: How to Create Smarter Habits That Adapt to Your Day – Stephen Guise

No two days are the same. By making your habits elastic, you can adapt to conquer every unique day of your life. The ultimate improv approach! Elastic habits give you an answer for every situation. Any dread or sense of monotony you’ve felt about forming habits will disappear, because this system is dynamic and exciting.

The post FAQ Series: Integration & Rhythm-Bringing Possibilities to Life appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

Welcome to the third installment of our Personal FAQs series, where we explore questions that can serve as we continuously recenter, realign, and move forward with clarity throughout our lives. 

To make it easier to have questions that can help us based on our current situation and needs at any juncture, we are examining five different FAQ domains.

We’ve now covered the first two, and we’re moving on to Decision-Making & Direction this week.

The Five Personal FAQ Domains:

1. Identity & Purpose
2. Work & Contribution
3. Decision-Making & Direction
4. Integration & Rhythm
5. Growth & Legacy

Decision Making & Direction

It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. ~Tony Robbins

When I went back to college in my 50s, it wasn’t because I suddenly had spare time. I was a single mom, working full-time, and adding school full-time to the mix was going to be a challenge without question.

What pushed me wasn’t ambition for its own sake, but frustration and the realization that I was passing up many opportunities simply because I didn’t have a degree. I decided to stop complaining about it and act.

My field of study this time around was Organizational Psychology, and one of my first classes was Effective Decision-Making. I thought it would be an easy filler. After all, I had many years of decisions already under my belt by this time. But it turned out to be one of the most transformative courses I’ve ever taken.

It changed how I thought about decisions, not just as choices but as turning points that could open new paths. I recognized their critical link to creating and honoring direction. That class and season of life became one of my favorites because I could feel how each decision was shaping the future in real time.

Why it Matters

Every decision shapes our story, whether by action or by delay. But not all decisions are equal, and without a framework, we risk drifting or reacting instead of choosing with intention.

But the framework doesn’t just mean drawing a line on a piece of paper and listing pros and cons. Not a bad exercise at times, but I’m talking about something more.

The framework that has served me has four parts or pillars.

• Clarity of Direction: Without a sense of where you’re headed, every option can feel equally urgent or equally confusing. Clarity doesn’t mean you know every detail of the future; it means you’ve chosen a general heading. When you name your desired direction, it becomes much easier to recognize whether a decision moves you closer or pulls you off course. 

Before weighing the details of any choice, pause and ask: What am I ultimately working toward?  Naming the direction helps you evaluate whether the choice is a step forward or a detour.

• Courage: Most of the decisions that shape our lives are not comfortable ones. They require stepping into uncertainty, risking rejection, or facing failure. Courage isn’t the absence of fear but the willingness to choose in spite of it. When we hesitate too long, the decision often gets made for us by default, and that is rarely the choice we would have made with intention. 

This means we need to call our hesitation into question. Ask yourself: Am I avoiding this choice because it challenges me, or because it’s truly unwise? Comfort-driven decisions often seem easier at the time but can lead to regret later.

• Consequence: Every yes is also a no. Decisions always carry trade-offs, whether in time, money, energy, or opportunity. Too often, we look only at what we gain from a choice, not what it will cost us. Considering consequences doesn’t mean we never take risks; it means we take them with our eyes open. 

When facing a decision, consider all the potential outcomes and risks. When we weigh both sides honestly, we take ownership of our choices rather than feel blindsided by them later.

• Alignment: A decision that looks good on paper can still be wrong if it doesn’t align with your deeper values and long-term story. Alignment asks: Does this choice fit who I want to be and what I want my life to stand for? It also asks if this decision is in alignment with all of the other priorities you are working from in any given season. When decisions are aligned, they may still be difficult, but they carry a sense of integrity and peace that sustains us through the challenges.

Always view decisions through the lens of your future self. Does this decision help you build the kind of life or work you want to be known for? Or does it compromise something you know matters deeply to you? Alignment ensures that progress isn’t just movement, it’s movement in the right direction.

What to Look For 

• Replaying the same choice over and over without resolution.
• Waiting so long to decide that circumstances decide for you.
• Saying yes automatically and only realizing later what you’ve said no to.
• Second-guessing yourself after every choice instead of moving forward with it.
• Choosing what feels comfortable now but leaves you stuck later.
• Avoiding opportunities because you’re afraid of getting it “wrong.”

The two biggest barriers to good decision-making
are your ego and your blind spots.
Together, they make it difficult for you to
objectively see what is true about you and
your circumstances and to
make the best possible decisions.
 
~ Ray Dalio

Decision-Making and Direction FAQs:

Remember that these FAQs aren’t about grand revelations. They are about grounding. They are prompts designed to invite honesty and curiosity about our current and future state.

This week, we’re focused on the four pillars. Together, they invite us to consider these questions: 

• Am I clear on where I’m going?
• Am I willing to choose courage over comfort?
• Am I being honest about the trade-offs?
• Am I aligned with my deeper story?

When those four are in place, you can step forward with confidence even if the outcome isn’t guaranteed because you’ve made the best decision available to you.

How do you know you’re asking the right questions?

• They move you from confusion to clarity.
• They help you recognize both opportunity and consequence.
• They create momentum, and you can sense the next step more clearly.
• They invite courage, not just comfort.
• They connect today’s choices to tomorrow’s story.

In the long run, we shape our lives,
and we shape ourselves.
The process never ends until we die.
And the choices we make
are ultimately our own responsibility.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

When I look back at my decision to return to college, I can see now how it rested on all four pillars of strong decision-making. At the time, I didn’t have this language for it, but I was living it.

• Clarity of Direction: I knew exactly why I was going back. I was tired of being passed over or holding myself back because I didn’t have a degree. My direction was clear: I wanted to create new opportunities by removing that barrier.
• Courage: The choice wasn’t convenient. I was a single mom, working full-time, and adding school full-time to my plate. It would have been easier to stay where I was. Choosing school required courage to step into the unknown and believe I could carry the load.
• Consequence: I understood there would be costs. Time, energy, money, and countless late nights were all real trade-offs. But I also saw that the greater cost would be doing nothing and remaining stuck where I was.
• Alignment: At the heart of it, going back to school aligned with who I wanted to be. Growth, resilience, and possibility had always been part of my story. This choice honored those values and set an example I hoped my daughter would carry forward in her own life, and she has.

That decision didn’t just earn me a degree. It changed how I saw myself and how I shaped my future. It confirmed what I now believe with certainty: We really are always just one decision away from a different direction.

Remember that decisions are where true possibility begins.

Of course, decisions don’t stand alone. Once we’ve chosen a direction, the real test is weaving those choices into the rhythms of our daily lives and ensuring they integrate with the bigger picture.

This Domain’s Additional Resources (Books):
 
Thinking in Bets — Annie Duke
Principles — Ray Dalio
The Road to Character — David Brooks
Right Thing, Right Now – Ryan Holiday
The Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance, and Happiness – James Altucher and Claudia Altucher

The post FAQ Series: Decision-Making & Direction – What Do I Want To Be Possible? appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

In this series, we are talking about how we achieve a good rate of return on our investments beyond our money.

The reality is that where our money goes isn’t really the best indicator of what our future is going to look like.

Our priorities and choices in every part of our lives are a factor.

What is in common across everything is that before we can have a return, we must invest.

You may be saying, Of course! I knew that. But in fact, the three areas we are going to explore together are, in many cases, not giving us the highest possible return because we are NOT really strategically investing in them.

We may be experiencing them, but that is not the same as investing in them.

In part 2, we’re talking about ROL or Return on LEARNING.

Are you a strategic learner? You can be curious, even a committed lifelong learner, but again, while that is admirable (and important!), if we want a measurable return, we have to have a clear intention AND investment.

It is in our learning strategy that we set our path for growth more than anywhere else. Here are five guidelines to help you as you create your own learning plan:

• Understand the difference between knowledge and skill and develop both.  Gaining knowledge on a subject to deepen expertise has a different priority than learning how to do something. Make sure that you know what success looks like once you have gained knowledge or developed a skill. What should you be able to do once you’ve achieved it?
• Devote at least 30 minutes daily to expanding your knowledge in your area of expertise and influence. As experts, remember that our role is also to act as a curator or distiller of a vast bank of growing knowledge and create continued value. Make certain that you are including both established experts/mentors and emerging voices in your area of expertise in your study.
• Include personal skill-building and development in your learning plan. This area is what I’ve come to think of as life harmony. When we say life balance, it implies some kind of equality in how we distribute resources, and that doesn’t prove realistic for me. But harmony is something I can (and do) embrace. Harmony means we are making space for all the threads in our lives. And when they are in sync, we make music! What interests you as a person? Italian cooking? A particular art medium? If time and money were not a factor, what would you want to learn? Make a way to learn that! If you care about something, study it and practice it.
• Learn alone and in groups. Being able to discuss what we are learning can be invaluable for identifying innovative ways to apply the newly acquired knowledge. If taking a class with others doesn’t appeal to you, consider joining a mastermind where you can gain new insights and learn from other business leaders in the group. Taking advantage of today’s global technologies and joining learning communities online is another approach. It has been my experience that group settings are often the best place for me to learn outside my primary work. They become a social community as well because our shared interest generates an immediate bond.
• Have a learning vision log.  Have you ever wanted to find time to learn something but could never seem to do so?  Getting those areas of interest committed to a learning vision log gives you a place to refer to when creating your learning plan calendar. The time you allocate to learning can then be prioritized based on what you want to know vs. whatever comes across your path. Not sure where to start? Here are three ideas:
  • What skills or knowledge do you respect and admire in others?
  • What do you hire others to do for you today that you find interesting?
  • If you could only learn three new things in the next year, what would you choose?

Being strategic about our personal and professional growth can and should be fun as well as immensely rewarding!

REMINDER: Achieving a RETURN begins with making an INVESTMENT. And STRATEGY simply means beginning with the end in mind.

What do you want to know? What do you want to master?

What will help you create your best self and the life you want to live?

Start there.

The post The many returns of the day, Part 2 What is your ROL? appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

In our businesses, we talk about achieving a good return on investment (ROI).

We want to know that where we are investing our resources is providing us with an adequate, even above-average return.

We consider risk and reward as a part of this and most likely will not invest where the potential ROI (reward) doesn’t align with what we want to achieve.

It is about our priorities and choices.

All too often, we limit these expectations (and conscious decisions) to where we are investing our money. We equate the idea of investment with what we spend and what we earn in terms of money. This extends into our personal lives as well.

The reality is that for most of us, where our money is spent is not, in fact, the best place to focus on to determine whether we are getting our highest returns. There are at least three other areas of investment where, when handled strategically and with a clear intention, we can grow ourselves and our businesses exponentially.

As we enter this new calendar year, it is the perfect time to integrate this into our planning for how we will measure our results overall.

The top three areas we typically need to adjust in setting expectations are learning, relationships, and energy.

Do you have an investment plan covering these areas, both personally and professionally? If not, I would encourage you to step back and consider that, as Charlie “Tremendous” Jones taught, where we will be one year or five years from now will be the result of our learning and relationships. In his teaching, it was “the books you read and people you meet”. Fast-forwarding to how we operate today, it is how we take in information and evolve our philosophies (learning) and our personal network (relationships).

The inclusion of energy stems from the fact that it is one of the three primary resources we need to do anything (time, money, energy). While time and money are important, energy is often overlooked. Even when we have the time and money, we are simply out of steam (energy) to do what we truly want to do. In reality, the overall return on energy becomes the return we see from our life’s ultimate investment in what we care about and how we achieve it.

Join me over the course of this series of posts to learn more about how you can be strategic and achieve much higher returns on your investments for learning, relationships, and energy!

The post The Many Returns of the Day: What Investments Do You Measure? appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

We all know that daily practices are important. But I’m not sure we fully realize the depth of their importance or even the core reasons those core practices make a difference. As with most things, when we understand the underlying reasons, the doing gets much easier.

That’s where stories can help.

One of the first stories that comes to mind for me is about John Constable, a British 19th-century painter known for his landscape paintings. He believed that the key element for mastery in all of his work was being able to capture the drama of the sky. He was fascinated with the sky, and in particular, clouds, because that’s where he found the drama. He was determined to become beyond proficient at capturing the beauty and essence of the ever-changing sky.

So, how did he achieve that mastery? He started a daily practice. He found one spot by a river where he could go every single day and paint. He would show up there each day and paint the sky as it appeared that day. He did that every single day. He never relented because he knew that the better he got at painting the sky, the better all of his work would be. And he also knew that the sky would be different every day – thus giving him the chance to keep honing that skill. That’s the essence of a daily practice. It isn’t just about what you are doing. It’s about how it integrates into everything else.

When we look at other artists, we can find many stories like this. I am a fan of the cellist Yo-Yo Ma. I love the instrument, and I love the way he loves it as well. His music is something that can transport me from wherever I am to someplace that is lovely, centered, and full of hope. How does he do that? You might say it’s because he is talented, and no doubt that is part of it. But if you asked him, he would say it is because he is dedicated to his craft, and even now, with all of the success and accolades, the most essential part of his day is his practice time. He is not doing that for perfection. He is doing that for a deeper connection to his instrument, the music, and the world.

The discipline of daily practice is something I have never outgrown. It allows me to keep discovering new things about music and about myself.” ~Yo Yo Ma

One of my nieces is a ballerina. She’s still young, but it’s already clear that this is more than just a weekly dance class for her. How? She practices every day. No one has to tell her. She has created a place in her bedroom dedicated to practicing dance. While other kids are watching videos and playing games, she is immersed in her world of dance.

That’s how you know something matters. And she’s in good company. Every prima ballerina out there will tell you the same thing. They are in class every day. They dance every day. It’s how they are instinctual and fluid not only on the stage, but in every one of their movements in life.

“The one thing that has gotten me through every single moment of my life, whether I was going through a tough time or was the happiest I’d ever been, was my discipline and my training. It’s that consistency.” ~ Misty Copeland

There are many other examples from just about every craft you can imagine.

I think we can all agree that when it comes to athletes, none set a better example of perfecting their craft than Kobe Bryant. He attributed all of his success to his “Mamba Mentality,” and the cornerstone of that was his daily practice.

He was committed, some might even say obsessed, with the fundamentals of his craft, and he practiced every single day. He was known for being up and at the gym hours before any of his teammates. What is interesting about his example is that not only did that daily practice raise him above his peers in his execution of the game, but it also raised him to a position of influence.

He inspired many of his teammates and even competitors to greater heights. That’s why one of the other greats, Michael Jordan, was willing to take him on as a protege even though they were also competitors. People admire others who are relentless about improvement and mastery.

“The key to success is failure. Each time I fail, I learn something, and I become better. Practice is where I put those lessons into action.” ~Michael Jordan

As a writer, I know that daily practice is an absolute. The key to me has always been to understand that vs. pushing against it. I attended a conference once where the keynote speaker had the topic of “how to create a daily writing practice.” When he got to the stage to speak, he said that his presentation was likely to be a surprise and it would, no doubt, be the shortest of the day because the subject matter was so simple.

He said that the way to create a daily writing practice was simple. You write. Every day. That’s it. Nothing else. If you want to be a writer, you are going to need to write every day. That means nothing more or nothing less than just that. Write every single day.

“Writing is, in effect, not so different from endurance sport. To keep writing, one has to keep up the rhythm and create the habits that allow words to flow.” ~Haruki Murakami

But you might say there is more to it than that. I understand. I did as well until I realized that part of making the decision about what matters to us is making the commitment to doing what it takes to achieve it. We want the results, but too often, we want to short-cut or short-circuit the pathway to them. And it only derails us. Sometimes, shortcuts add to the journey rather than compressing it.

Whatever you want, I promise you that a daily practice is necessary to achieving it. So when you define what you want, go that extra step and ask yourself what you will need to do every day to make that happen. And then turn your eyes to that.

You will be amazed at how focusing on the commitment vs. the prize, how much more the prize will mean, and how much deeper its value will become. It takes the time it takes.

It’s not always 10,000 hours. That framework doesn’t fit everything, as some would want us to believe. But it does take something. And, more than anything, it takes consistent time, even if not as much time.

One of my favorite things to do is to create acronyms from words that I find important. This helps me understand them more proactively and aids in teaching the principles around them. I found that to be true here as well.

I want to share with you the acronym I created for PRACTICE.

After going through each letter and associated word, ask yourself which of these words or ideas surprised you most. Maybe that is the missing link to help boost your own commitment to the daily practice you need most in this season of your life.

P – PURPOSE. Anything we commit to daily must serve a bigger purpose. We don’t do anything in a vacuum. I heard a quote once that said you can’t play Bach without having done scales, but that no one practices scales merely to play a scale. Indeed, as a musician myself, I know that no one masters music without first mastering the scale.

R – RHYTHM. There is a cadence to anything that moves us forward. Think about music. Far more than just the notes – it is the pauses and the rhythm that make it memorable. Daily practices will create a rhythm within our day. It creates that synchronicity that pulls everything together.

A – ACCOUNTABILITY. Nearly every program out there that is designed to help us define and achieve goals has an accountability practice as one of its cornerstones. But I believe that our practice is in and of itself an internal instrument of accountability. We now have a daily standard we hold ourselves to.

C – CONSISTENCY. If you’ve ever attended any teaching or presentation on just about anything related to any success, they have emphasized the need for consistency in your actions. You don’t get healthy or fit by exercising once in a while. That’s the value of an exercise practice. It automatically creates consistency, which exponentially increases the rate and velocity of your success.

T – TIME. Have you ever had something you wanted to do and yet hid behind the excuse that there just wasn’t enough time? I certainly have. This might be the most essential element of a daily practice. It shows us that we DO have time. And taking time does something else. It creates time. When we are more disciplined about how we spend our time, there is more of it because we’ve defined it based on our priorities.

I – INTENTIONALITY. This brings us to intentionality. It is something that precedes those benefits of time but is, in fact, its own benefit marker. Time is a limited resource. It is, in fact, our only limited resource. So how we spend it matters more than anything other resource we consume. Having those daily practices is a form of declaration about what matters to us. No one lives an intentional life without living an intentional day.

C – CREATIVITY. This is another one that many miss. How can something that, by its nature, is regimented inspire or spark creativity? Because it does. Some things you can’t explain, but I know this is true. When we eliminate some of our decision fatigue, we free up mental resources that are part of our creative process. As we get better at our craft, we are able to see things from a different perspective and dare to try new things. My daily writing practice is, by far, the most creative time of my day. My commonplace book gets idea entries all the time that were spawned in a writing session.

E – EFFICACY. Does this surprise you? It shouldn’t. Self-efficacy, or any other way of seeing our abilities, is paramount for living our best life and doing our best work. When we believe we hold within us the power and ability to do whatever it is we set our minds to, it is almost a given that it will happen. A daily practice allows that because it moves us through times we might have otherwise given up and not stayed the course. It helps to reinforce what we CAN do vs. anything else that might be messages coming our way.

So there you have it—my latest acronym. I hope that it brought you some value.

And, by the way, it came out of one of my writing sessions in my daily writing practice!

The post What’s Really Behind Success? Stories of Daily Practice and Mastery appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

Recently, I have found my focus shifting more strategically to what is next as I consider plans and priorities.

Perhaps you find yourself here as well.

A productive practice to consider is integrating what I call the other question into our thought processes. I’m always intrigued by inverse statements and questions. There is always another one there.

What we are considering is a fundamental practice for experiencing the full range of possibility thinking. We must be able to consider every side of our choices.

In my work as a strategist over the years, this has proven to be what makes the difference between goals and objectives that are reached with greater ease and those that create struggle or even get lost along the way.

There is always another question to consider. The other question is also what quite often delivers us the more significant return.

Questions that drive insight are the ones that move us forward.

Here are three to consider that will help you develop a possibilitarian point of view that leads to creative resilience:

#1 – What is the real change I want to achieve?

Know your true objective. Keep asking until you find it. There are several schools of thought on how many layers of questions to ask. For each answer, you ask why that is important. My experience has taught me that we get to the true answer somewhere between questions five and seven.

I want to achieve X.  Why? Because XX.

Why do you want XX? Because XXX.

Why do you want XXX? Because XXXX.

Why do you want XXXX?

Because V!

You cannot stay on track if you don’t know where you really want to go. We want to get to the core value being served by taking on the work. I recently went through this practice again to reflect on my values around health. It’s the most powerful exercise we can do to get to the truth about what we want to achieve. Note that this exercise sometimes helps us identify what we shouldn’t keep trying to accomplish because our underlying reason isn’t of real value. But in most cases, we get to our true motivation.

The more you practice this, the faster you will reach your core value. Resiliency is a natural result when we keep our core values at the forefront, because we do not look at a circumstance in isolation. We examine everything against what matters most in our lives and work.

#2 – What options am I avoiding?

This is crucial because, quite often, what we refuse to consider is our best choice. We all have non-negotiable positions. That’s not what this is about. It’s about what we might be afraid to try or think isn’t possible for us. It’s about removing limitations and not compromising boundaries. When we practice a resilient lifestyle, how we perceive things will change, and what we never considered before can move front and center.

It’s also about tackling resistance head-on.

What is important is that we exhaust every possibility without limiting ourselves to probabilities or what we think we want to do.

#3 – What am I missing?

Where are the blind spots? What aren’t we considering that needs to be addressed? What are the risks? If you know them, you can mitigate them from the start, or at a minimum, have a plan in place to address them should they arise.

If you do not know the risks, you have not fully defined what you want. If this is a challenging area for you, start with your assumptions. Your risks will be in your assumptions. What are you assuming to be true? What if it is not? What are you assuming is not true? What if it is?

One of the many gifts I received from my iPEC family, where I studied for my Executive Life Coach certification, was a very special stone. I’ve had it for many years, and it stays with me as a talisman when I’m thinking through something challenging.

The word problem has been engraved on one side, covering the entire surface. On the other side is the word solution. The solution resides within the problem itself. We must examine it from all sides to find it, but it is there. The other question is what will take us to the other side.

What about you? Are you also looking at something in your work or life and wondering if there is another question that you need to ask? Sometimes it’s hard to see what’s worth asking when you’re standing too close to it.
 
That’s where I can help.
 
If you’re facing a decision or transition and want a fresh perspective on how to interrogate what still has value and re-imagine what’s next, just hit reply. Let’s explore what’s possible together.
 
Because everything we choose to question becomes part of the foundation for what’s coming next.

The post Resilience: Asking the other question… appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

Work-life balance is something we hear about, even talk about, but it would seem we rarely achieve it.  A popular belief used to be that we can proportion ourselves out in some measured way across all the demands of our life and work. That hasn’t been successful in my experience. It just doesn’t match reality for most of us.

The more we attempt to create silos or compartmentalize our various roles, the more we face conflicting priorities and ultimately feel like we are failing somewhere or to someone. Quite frankly, it’s not a recipe for success on any level.

We are multi-dimensional beings, and that means that instead of creating unsustainable boundaries, we will be better served by creating an integrated view of who we are and the value we bring to our world.

Victor Hugo expressed it well when he said, “To put everything in balance is good, to put everything in harmony is better.”

Our lives are very much like an aircraft, balancing and leveling itself during flight, continually adjusting its position to stay on course.

When we went through the significant lifestyle and workstyle changes brought on by COVID, all the gaps we had been living with were fully exposed. Every boundary we may have put in place to segregate anything in our lives disappeared overnight, it seemed.

But what initially felt like an earthquake beneath our lives ended up being the way we found ourselves back to better lives. But as time has passed, it’s quite possible that we’ve begun drifting back to old practices that need to be addressed.

When we look at it from that perspective, certain clues will tell us if we need to make adjustments to remain on course.

Here are five checkpoints I invite you to consider:

1. The first one is the most important, and if this isn’t in check, there’s no reason to go further until it’s addressed. I learned this lesson from life and success mentor Jim Rohn, and it is simply this: Wherever you are, be there.
   • That’s your first check. If you are working and thinking about something else, you won’t be effective. If you are with friends and family but thinking about work, you won’t be fully engaged. We need to focus on the moment in order to course-correct.
2. The second one is what I call the calendar check. When I review my plan for the week each Sunday, I check ALL of my current targets against my calendar. Where are my health practices showing up? My learning practice? My relationship practices? If all the parts of my life aren’t there, it’s time for tuning.
   • This also applies to our money. That’s another check that helps here. We need to know we’ve got everything working as required for a successful journey.
3. A third check-in is less obvious but still important. It is a focus on your core values. For example, growth is a core value for me. I want to ensure that I am growing across multiple disciplines. My growth needs to align with all of my life, not just my profession. Whatever it is we seek, we also need to study.
   • The key is to know which of your core values you want to focus on and how you practice them in your life.
4. The fourth checkpoint is related to the first one, but its importance merits further reflection: relationships. There are different circles we live within, and each one requires nurturing, growth, and even some pruning. Begin with your inner circle of family and close friends, then move outward until you’ve touched all the circles that hold some degree of influence.
   • Are they thriving? Are they draining? Or even just waning. This is more of a check-up than a checkpoint, but it’s a key part of maintaining harmony in our lives.
5. The last point is the least specific but matters a great deal: Am I happy? Do I feel satisfied with how I am showing up in the world and the contribution I am making?
   • We can get so busy with the demands of life that we forget to enjoy life. This isn’t as easily measured because a certain amount of emotion is involved, but emotion and energy drive and fuel us.

Five checkpoints that can each contain clues for adjusting and calibrating how we live our lives to ensure we make our highest possible contribution in each moment.

These are disciplines of legacy and deserving of our attention. Balance? Perhaps not. Harmonized? Guarding that every day.

An Invitation

As always, if you are navigating your own moment of needing more harmony in your life as you explore who you are becoming next and want support, clarity, or partnership in that process, I can help.

This is the work I help founders, solopreneurs, and possibility-seekers do every day.

We can explore together what matters now and what will take you into your next season of life, work, or both.

The post 5 Clues You May Need A Balance Check appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

I once heard someone say that the point of a question isn’t to find an answer. Its true purpose is to help us find the next question. I found that fascinating and insightful. It is certainly true for me and right in line with how my analyst’s brain works.
 
But at some point, we do need to reach a conclusion, even if it doesn’t take the form of a fully developed answer. 
 
That being the case, what we need may not be more questions but different ones. Better ones.
 
This brings me to one of my favorite books by Warren Berger.
 
A More Beautiful Question: The Power of Inquiry to Spark Breakthrough Ideas
 
I was recently asked about my library and how I knew which books to keep, since I had to significantly reduce its size. We were talking about my move and how daunting a task it has been.

At first, it seemed like an impossible choice and task. Even if there was a move involved. But eventually, I realized that, in any case, the books themselves held the answer.

If the book was one I return to repeatedly, find myself gifting often, or that created a watershed moment or two for me, only then could it remain. Surprisingly, that group included far less than I had imagined.
 
And Warren Berger’s book was definitely on that list.

The question led me right to that place Mr. Berger encourages us to visit, where we can create forward movement by finding a more beautiful question.

You see, I love books. Even thinking about not being surrounded by them puts my heart into a tailspin. And yet, the right question shifted that and helped me find another way to explore the possibilities.

According to Mr. Berger, simply knowing answers may help you in school, but they will do very little for you beyond the classroom. His position is that what creates champion thinkers is knowing how to question.
 
That’s the distinction for him. It’s not just about “a question,” it’s about questioning.
 
If we want to unlock a deeper understanding and create movement that matters where it counts, we must be willing to challenge even the question.
 
His framework breaks it into three kinds of questions.

• Those that help you better understand the problem (why)
• Those that lead you to imagine possible solutions (what if)
• Those that will help you create a plan to implement those solutions in an optimal way (how)

Here are my top three notes from the book that went into my journal:
 
The most creative, successful people have mastered the art of inquiry, raising questions no one else is asking—and finding powerful answers.
 
A beautiful question is an ambitious yet actionable question that can begin to shift the way we perceive or think about something—and that might serve as a catalyst to bring about change.
 
The future belongs to the curious. The ones who are not afraid to try it, explore it, poke at it, question it, and turn it inside out.
 
The question moved from which books I should let go of to which books I should keep and why. That shifts the entire inquiry.

If you’re looking for your next read, this one is definitely a worthy option.
 
In the meantime, let’s all begin challenging our questions so that we can discover better answers. Let’s craft beautiful questions that will be stunning catalysts for change for ourselves and our world.

An Invitation

As always, if you are navigating your own moment of needing better questions as you explore who you are becoming next and want support, clarity, or partnership in that process, I can help.

This is the work I help founders, solopreneurs, and possibility-seekers do every day.

We can explore together what matters now and what will take you into your next season of life, work, or both.

The post What was the question again? appeared first on Kathi Laughman.