Two women were born in 1933. One in France. One in America.

The woman born in France was Jewish. Her name was Francine.

The American girl was born in a small town in West Virginia. She was a second-generation Cherokee. Her name was Peggy.

They came from different parts of the world and would face very different challenges. What they shared was coming into the world in the year Hitler came into power. That became part of both of their stories.

By the time Francine was eight years old, her father had been taken into custody as a prisoner of war. She had to wear the yellow star on her chest, marking her as Jewish. She and her mother were eventually taken to the Bergen-Belsen camp in Germany. Francine’s mother took two small pieces of chocolate with her, knowing there would be hard days ahead. She told her daughter she would save them for when they grew weak and needed strength. The chocolate would help get them through.

When another woman gave birth in the camp, Francine’s mother asked her if she thought they should give their chocolate to the struggling woman to help her have the strength to survive the birth. Francine didn’t hesitate and readily agreed. Despite dire conditions, both mother and child survived.

Six months later, British troops rescued them, and the camp was liberated. Francine and her mother were able to return to France, as did the other mother and child.

Life moved on from those dark days for all of them. Francine went on to write books and poetry and give lectures about her time in the camps. And give birth to her own daughter.

Many years later, when she was in her 80s, her daughter asked if she thought it would have helped her and the others freed from the camps if they had been given access to psychiatrists. She said she couldn’t say, mental health wasn’t something they even spoke of then. It was about survival. But that question inspired her to put together a symposium on the subject.

When one of the psychiatrists who had come to speak took her place at the podium, she began by saying she had a special gift for Francine and took out a piece of chocolate. She smiled warmly at Francine and said, “I’m the baby.”

Can you imagine the depth of feeling as the two women meet again after all those years? 

We don’t often get to see what comes from those moments of sacrifice. I found it very moving that they had a second divine appointment to meet. Somehow, you begin to understand from that moment that Francine and her mother gave so much more than a piece of chocolate.

The power of story always remains.

Listen to her tell her story in her own voice and words

Going back to our young girl growing up in West Virginia, her life took on a very different shape because of the war as well. Her mother worked as a tailor, making uniforms for soldiers fighting in Europe, to save those like Francine and her mother. Other friends and family lost loved ones who wore those uniforms. Their sacrifices were different. None compared to what Francine and her family experienced. But that time shaped everyone who lived through it.

That girl grew up, married a Marine, and moved to Ohio, where, in 1955, she gave birth to her first child, a daughter. Me.

I knew that my grandmother’s life had been changed by that war, but I hadn’t thought about the fact that my mother’s life began during that time. When I first heard Francine speak, I realized that they were contemporaries. The children also have their own stories to tell.

Listening to Francine talk about her conversation with her daughter, I thought of my own conversations with my mother.

I remember a telephone conversation with my Mom one summer, when I lived with my great-aunt and uncle in downtown Cleveland. My great aunt was recovering from heart surgery, and they needed help. On our call, I lamented missing home and my freedom. My mother reminded me that I wasn’t there for me.

She said I was born to fulfill a purpose, and that opportunities to make a difference would come throughout my life. They would never be a burden in the end, but a gift. It was the genesis of my understanding of having a purpose in the world and in my life. And the joy that would bring. She prophesied that into and over my life many times. She also modeled that in her own life. I have never forgotten it.

I find myself yearning again for conversations about her life with questions I never thought to ask. But still, I am comforted by the conversations we did have and my memories of her.

Thinking about both of these women, born in 1933, I’m reminded that no matter what our circumstances may be at any given time in our lives, we all have something to give. We are all called to give of ourselves, even to sacrifice at times. And, it is always a gift for us to have that opportunity.

It’s an important reminder and question to ask of ourselves with every encounter. How can I best serve in this moment?

The post The stories of two women born in 1933 appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

We make assumptions about how and to whom we matter in the world. Those will stem from our own beliefs and perspectives about the contributions we make.

And yet, sometimes what is most impactful about our lives isn’t readily visible to us. We will not always know where we are making the most profound difference.

You see, each of us is a miracle. Each of us comes into this life with our own soul print, and we make a difference every day. Even when we aren’t really conscious of it.

Let me tell you a story that brings this vividly to life. In the 1950’s, two men worked in a factory in northern Ohio. One of them worked the afternoon shift and the other the night shift. They did not know each other. Yet their lives would intersect and create profound change.

The young man working second shift had just finished his tour of duty as a Marine during the Korean War. He and his bride had moved from West Virginia to Ohio in search of better opportunities. He often worked the night shift in addition to his regular hours for extra income. One night, he was doing just that when he was assigned to a machine next to the other man in our story. Bear in mind that this was not mentally taxing work. In fact, boredom was something they continuously contended with, each in their own way.

That night, over the humming of the machines, our young Marine heard a very distinctive voice talking about all of his possibilities and how to reach all of those goals he had set for himself simply by changing his thoughts. It was as if this man were speaking directly to him. And so he went in search of the source and found the other man listening to a portable radio. The man speaking on the radio was Earl Nightingale. It was a life-changing moment.

Immediately, our young Marine was determined! He decided to take on an extra job rather than just extra shifts to earn enough money to buy his own portable radio. He had discovered his mentor even before he knew what a mentor was, and did not want to miss a single opportunity to hear more! That encounter changed his life. That extra job? It was working as an attendant and mechanic at a local gas station. What happened? Ultimately, he didn’t just show up because he worked there as a mechanic. In time, he showed up because he owned the business.

I doubt that the other man in the story, if asked, would tell us that the most important thing he did that day was take his radio to work. He wouldn’t say that he changed lives just by listening to his radio. But for that young Marine, undoubtedly that was the case. It set his life on a different course. And as a result, it did the same for mine. That young Marine was my Dad.

Throughout my life, what I learned most from him, beyond the values of faith and family, was the miracle of personal leadership and development. He defied all of the odds. He surpassed every expectation. A deeply spiritual man, he did it all with quiet grace and humility, a legacy that endures.

There was never a time that he was not reading or later listening to recordings and tapes. In fact, I still have his books and some of those early recordings! From that late-night shift in the factory until his last breath on earth, my Dad lived a life that celebrated learning and growth every day.

My Dad. He never lost sight of who he was. He never lost his vision of who he could become. And he never stopped growing into that man. He lived that legacy every day of his life. As a result, other lives were changed. And his legacy lives on in those lives. Including mine.

Thank you, Dad, for always showing us not only who you were but who we could be. Thank you for being a living example of how to become that person more every day. And thank you to the gentleman who was part of God’s plan for our lives and brought his radio to work so all of this would begin!

We recently crossed off the day on the calendar that was the 46th anniversary of my Dad’s death. In the earlier years, that day always brought some sadness, but over the course of my life, that has changed because I have recognized how everything about him has shaped me, even his death.

And so I share this story with you in memory and honor of him, and as a reminder to us all that while our time here may be brief, it is never without value.

I strive to always remember, as Earl Nightingale taught my Dad and he ultimately taught me:

“Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.”

Live today like you want tomorrow to be.

Live well.

The post Take your radio to work day! appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

Welcome to the fifth and final installment of our Personal FAQs series, where we explore questions that can guide us as we continuously recenter, realign, and move forward with clarity throughout our lives.

To make it easier to ask questions that are relevant to where we are and what we need at any juncture, we have been reviewing five FAQs domains.

We move now to our final domain, Growth & Legacy.

The Five Personal FAQ Domains:

1. Identity & Purpose
2. Work & Contribution
3. Decision-Making & Direction
4. Integration & Rhythm
5. Growth & Legacy

Growth & Legacy

Some time ago, I wrote an article that has stayed with me. In fact, it’s one of my favorite pieces of my own writing if I’m allowed to admit that! The title of that message was this: Do Recipes Make You a Better Cook? 
 
As I was thinking about writing this final chapter of our FAQ series, I realized that while we’re discussing a specific domain, we’re also covering everything we’ve been reviewing together, because these FAQs culminate in two very specific outcomes. Growth and Legacy. They are stretching us, and in doing that, they are helping us leave our mark.
 
In that article, I shared the story of Chef Daniel Patterson. But the first question wasn’t about recipes. It was about GPS guidance systems. You see, Chef Patterson had gotten a new car, and it came with the then-default feature of GPS and navigation assistance. Initially, he resisted using it.
 
Then the day came when he decided to go ahead and take advantage of the technology. Before long, he recognized, like many of us, he had become dependent on it. Even when he went to places he frequented, he found himself relying on it. He was blindly following directions with no notice of his surroundings or where he was going.
 
When he realized what was happening, it startled him, and he began asking himself where else in life he (we) might be doing the same thing. Since he’s a chef, he naturally looked first at his world. Hence, the next question is whether recipes make us better cooks.
 
In fact, he himself wrote an entire article about it. It’s an excellent piece, and I encourage you to read it.

These words from that article were what inspired my own and brought it back to mind for this week’s message and wrapping up our series:
 
“Part of the problem with recipes today is that they seem to be predicated on the idea that a good recipe should eliminate the possibility of mistakes. But here’s a secret: Good cooks make mistakes all the time. They take wrong turns and end up in strange places. Their attention sharpens as they try to figure out where they are and how they got there. Eventually, they either reach their original destination or discover that wherever they stumbled into is really the best place to be. Sometimes it’s important to get lost.” 

Here’s what I wrote in my essay:
 
We are faced every day with “recipes.” Use these methods, these tools. Take each step in this order. Make sure you don’t substitute anything. In other words, if you want it to work, don’t change anything. In life and our work, I’m sure you recognize and hear the message as much as I do.

But what if that’s not right? What if the best result comes from using the recipe as a starting point rather than a rulebook? What if we start experimenting and venturing forward as creators and find our own results? That has far more appeal for me.
 
I want to encourage you to see the concept of FAQs or any guidance questions in this way. They are not meant to be prescriptive. They are meant, in fact, to help you get a little lost so that you can, in turn, find your way. They are simply a starting point. Experiment with them and venture out as the creator of your own, over and over again.
 
Remember that growth and legacy are the culmination of everything we’ve been exploring together. Identity, work, decisions, and rhythm set the stage, but growth is what keeps it alive, and legacy is what ensures it outlives us.

Why It Matters

Without growth and legacy, our questions risk being self-contained. Useful perhaps, but limited. When we add this domain, we stretch our perspective forward and outward. We begin to see that what we learn, contribute, and embody is not only for ourselves, but also for those who come after us.
 
This domain asks us to think about continuity.
 
What carries forward because we were here?

What are we making possible?

What to Look For

You’ll know it’s time to pay attention to this domain when: 

• Old answers start to feel too small for who you’re becoming.
• Others have started asking you for guidance, wisdom, or stories from your own journey.
• You’re unsure whether you are investing your time and energy in things that will last beyond your life or even this season.
• You begin to see traces of your influence showing up in the work, words, or choices of others.
• You want to shift your focus from what you’re achieving to the idea of impact.

Growth and Legacy FAQs

Remember that these FAQs aren’t about grand revelations. They are about grounding. They are prompts designed to invite honesty and curiosity about our current and future state. Only choose those that resonate with you for the season you are in.

Here are a few starting points for the domain of Growth & Legacy: 

• What can I be learning now that future-me will thank me for?
• How can I grow in ways that expand what’s possible for others?
• What do I want to grow with me, and what do I want to grow beyond me?
• How can I be intentional about the influence my choices create?
• How can I define and live my legacy right now through achievement, relationships, values, or something else?
• What stories can I be shaping today that reflect the life I want to live?

How do you know you’re asking the right questions? 

• When your questions stir both hope and responsibility.
• When they anchor you in today while opening a window to tomorrow.
• When they shift your thinking from “what’s in it for me?” to “what’s possible because of me?”

Which brings us back to where we started. Do recipes make you a better cook? Not on their own. But they give you a starting point, a structure, a spark. The same is true here.

And that’s the point. It was never just about the questions. It’s about what they guide you to see, to choose, and to create.
 
Here’s one final thought from Chef Patterson to help:
 
“Cookbooks should teach us how to cook, not just follow instructions. By paying attention, a cook should be able to internalize the process, rendering the written recipes obsolete. The point of a recipe should be to help us find our own way.” 

Read the recipe (FAQ). Learn from it. Then close the book. Create your masterpiece in cooking and in life.
 
Why? Because your FAQs are not meant to stay on the page. They’re meant to guide your next steps.

This Week’s Additional Resources:

• The Second Mountain by David Brooks
• David Whyte’s poem “What to Remember When Waking”
• Holy Moments by Matthew Kelly
• The Rhythm of Life by Matthew Kelly
• Adjusted Sails: What Does This Make Possible by Kathi Laughman (Included with Kindle Unlimited)

The post FAQ Series: Growth & Legacy – What will you make possible? appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

Welcome to the third installment of our Personal FAQs series, where we explore questions that can serve as we continuously recenter, realign, and move forward with clarity throughout our lives. 

To make it easier to have questions that can help us based on our current situation and needs at any juncture, we are examining five different FAQ domains.

We’ve now covered the first two, and we’re moving on to Decision-Making & Direction this week.

The Five Personal FAQ Domains:

1. Identity & Purpose
2. Work & Contribution
3. Decision-Making & Direction
4. Integration & Rhythm
5. Growth & Legacy

Decision Making & Direction

It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. ~Tony Robbins

When I went back to college in my 50s, it wasn’t because I suddenly had spare time. I was a single mom, working full-time, and adding school full-time to the mix was going to be a challenge without question.

What pushed me wasn’t ambition for its own sake, but frustration and the realization that I was passing up many opportunities simply because I didn’t have a degree. I decided to stop complaining about it and act.

My field of study this time around was Organizational Psychology, and one of my first classes was Effective Decision-Making. I thought it would be an easy filler. After all, I had many years of decisions already under my belt by this time. But it turned out to be one of the most transformative courses I’ve ever taken.

It changed how I thought about decisions, not just as choices but as turning points that could open new paths. I recognized their critical link to creating and honoring direction. That class and season of life became one of my favorites because I could feel how each decision was shaping the future in real time.

Why it Matters

Every decision shapes our story, whether by action or by delay. But not all decisions are equal, and without a framework, we risk drifting or reacting instead of choosing with intention.

But the framework doesn’t just mean drawing a line on a piece of paper and listing pros and cons. Not a bad exercise at times, but I’m talking about something more.

The framework that has served me has four parts or pillars.

• Clarity of Direction: Without a sense of where you’re headed, every option can feel equally urgent or equally confusing. Clarity doesn’t mean you know every detail of the future; it means you’ve chosen a general heading. When you name your desired direction, it becomes much easier to recognize whether a decision moves you closer or pulls you off course. 

Before weighing the details of any choice, pause and ask: What am I ultimately working toward?  Naming the direction helps you evaluate whether the choice is a step forward or a detour.

• Courage: Most of the decisions that shape our lives are not comfortable ones. They require stepping into uncertainty, risking rejection, or facing failure. Courage isn’t the absence of fear but the willingness to choose in spite of it. When we hesitate too long, the decision often gets made for us by default, and that is rarely the choice we would have made with intention. 

This means we need to call our hesitation into question. Ask yourself: Am I avoiding this choice because it challenges me, or because it’s truly unwise? Comfort-driven decisions often seem easier at the time but can lead to regret later.

• Consequence: Every yes is also a no. Decisions always carry trade-offs, whether in time, money, energy, or opportunity. Too often, we look only at what we gain from a choice, not what it will cost us. Considering consequences doesn’t mean we never take risks; it means we take them with our eyes open. 

When facing a decision, consider all the potential outcomes and risks. When we weigh both sides honestly, we take ownership of our choices rather than feel blindsided by them later.

• Alignment: A decision that looks good on paper can still be wrong if it doesn’t align with your deeper values and long-term story. Alignment asks: Does this choice fit who I want to be and what I want my life to stand for? It also asks if this decision is in alignment with all of the other priorities you are working from in any given season. When decisions are aligned, they may still be difficult, but they carry a sense of integrity and peace that sustains us through the challenges.

Always view decisions through the lens of your future self. Does this decision help you build the kind of life or work you want to be known for? Or does it compromise something you know matters deeply to you? Alignment ensures that progress isn’t just movement, it’s movement in the right direction.

What to Look For 

• Replaying the same choice over and over without resolution.
• Waiting so long to decide that circumstances decide for you.
• Saying yes automatically and only realizing later what you’ve said no to.
• Second-guessing yourself after every choice instead of moving forward with it.
• Choosing what feels comfortable now but leaves you stuck later.
• Avoiding opportunities because you’re afraid of getting it “wrong.”

The two biggest barriers to good decision-making
are your ego and your blind spots.
Together, they make it difficult for you to
objectively see what is true about you and
your circumstances and to
make the best possible decisions.
 
~ Ray Dalio

Decision-Making and Direction FAQs:

Remember that these FAQs aren’t about grand revelations. They are about grounding. They are prompts designed to invite honesty and curiosity about our current and future state.

This week, we’re focused on the four pillars. Together, they invite us to consider these questions: 

• Am I clear on where I’m going?
• Am I willing to choose courage over comfort?
• Am I being honest about the trade-offs?
• Am I aligned with my deeper story?

When those four are in place, you can step forward with confidence even if the outcome isn’t guaranteed because you’ve made the best decision available to you.

How do you know you’re asking the right questions?

• They move you from confusion to clarity.
• They help you recognize both opportunity and consequence.
• They create momentum, and you can sense the next step more clearly.
• They invite courage, not just comfort.
• They connect today’s choices to tomorrow’s story.

In the long run, we shape our lives,
and we shape ourselves.
The process never ends until we die.
And the choices we make
are ultimately our own responsibility.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

When I look back at my decision to return to college, I can see now how it rested on all four pillars of strong decision-making. At the time, I didn’t have this language for it, but I was living it.

• Clarity of Direction: I knew exactly why I was going back. I was tired of being passed over or holding myself back because I didn’t have a degree. My direction was clear: I wanted to create new opportunities by removing that barrier.
• Courage: The choice wasn’t convenient. I was a single mom, working full-time, and adding school full-time to my plate. It would have been easier to stay where I was. Choosing school required courage to step into the unknown and believe I could carry the load.
• Consequence: I understood there would be costs. Time, energy, money, and countless late nights were all real trade-offs. But I also saw that the greater cost would be doing nothing and remaining stuck where I was.
• Alignment: At the heart of it, going back to school aligned with who I wanted to be. Growth, resilience, and possibility had always been part of my story. This choice honored those values and set an example I hoped my daughter would carry forward in her own life, and she has.

That decision didn’t just earn me a degree. It changed how I saw myself and how I shaped my future. It confirmed what I now believe with certainty: We really are always just one decision away from a different direction.

Remember that decisions are where true possibility begins.

Of course, decisions don’t stand alone. Once we’ve chosen a direction, the real test is weaving those choices into the rhythms of our daily lives and ensuring they integrate with the bigger picture.

This Domain’s Additional Resources (Books):
 
Thinking in Bets — Annie Duke
Principles — Ray Dalio
The Road to Character — David Brooks
Right Thing, Right Now – Ryan Holiday
The Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance, and Happiness – James Altucher and Claudia Altucher

The post FAQ Series: Decision-Making & Direction – What Do I Want To Be Possible? appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

A key lesson I have learned is that the easiest way to change how we respond to things or people we encounter is to have a system in place to guide us.

Frustration grows when it just seems like someone or something pushes our buttons every time. That trigger will continue to plague us until we change it. While it’s great when we can do that just by choosing to make that change, the reality is that it’s rarely that simple.

My experience has been that it really comes down to sleuthing, solving the mystery, evaluating vs. judging. You see, that’s where I found the real issue. We can get so busy judging ourselves for our reactions that we don’t allow ourselves the opportunity to understand them. When we understand them, we are equipped to change them in a meaningful and sustainable way.

“What you give meaning to
is what causes your emotion.
Before you react, know why you are
giving something so much energy or fear.
When you begin to understand
why you give things meaning
you can begin to change how you react
and why you do what you do.” 
~Shannon L. Alder

There are five key investigation tools to use that will help you master the art of reaction every time. Using the word REACT, let’s break them down.

R – Recognition

This is the first step. Simply recognizing it’s happening and taking responsibility for it. Just by asking ourselves whether we are reacting, we start a valuable chain-reaction shift. We are taking responsibility for our side of the equation.

E – Emotion

Emotions are wonderful. They are such a part of what makes life such an exquisite experience. But they can also derail us when they are part of a triggered response. Once we can pinpoint the emotion involved, we can determine where the core response is and put in place productive measures to handle it. If the trigger brings up guilt as an example, that’s very different from fear in terms of next steps. But in both cases, it is the initial recognition of the emotion that will lead us to the next right questions.

A – Attitude

What did you expect? Where are your sensitivities? Many years ago, when I was really struggling to communicate with a fellow executive, I had a conversation with a trusted friend and mentor. He suggested that my sensitivities were high and that I was expecting a certain action, and so that is what I saw.  My attitude was a conditioning agent. I had to first be open to a positive exchange before one could happen.  Being candid with ourselves about our expectations and attitude toward a person or situation is a critical part of our excavation to our solution.

C – Context

This was perhaps the most important element for me in a number of situations. Has someone ever asked you what a word meant, and you weren’t certain, or there were several possibilities? What do you normally ask them to do? I suspect it might be to ask them to use it in a sentence to help you better understand what it might mean. The context of anything is the ultimate lens for deciphering its meaning. What else is going on? Is it related? Not related? Is it influencing?

T – Truth

What do you know to be true? This is an essential question because it allows us to get to the taproot of the situation quickly. When we take assumptions off the table, or at least recognize them for what they are, we’re clearing judgments and other potential mental or emotional clutter as we review our next steps.

R-E-A-C-T

RECOGNIZE what is happening;

Identify the dominant EMOTION;

Check your ATTITUDE coming into the situation;

Consider the CONTEXT of the situation; and,

Focus on what is TRUE.

That’s the process. That’s the system. Like anything regarding our personal framework, it’s also a skill. This can be your most effective system for productive personal change.

As a final note, remember that as we change ourselves, we also create the opportunity to change other people’s perspective of us. That’s especially true for those where we have influence, but it’s also not limited to those.

When we employ this skill, we can inspire others to do the same. It creates a CHAIN REACTION that’s positive and constructive.

What about you?
 
If you’re facing a decision or transition and want a fresh perspective on how to interrogate what has value and re-imagine what’s next, just hit reply. Let’s explore what’s possible together.
 
Because everything we choose to respond to and how we respond becomes part of the foundation for what’s coming next.

The post What would you do? Setting the right response in motion appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

When we move through a transition, whether in our life, our work, or the deeper spaces where identity shifts, it’s natural to wonder if we’re navigating it well. If we’re honoring who we’re becoming. If we’re serving the purpose that’s calling to us now.
 
Last year was that time for me, and it became a sabbatical, a season of prayer and listening, and a time of recalibration. 

My writing gave me a place to think out loud, to explore what’s unfolding, and to clarify where I’m being led. That clarity and a new path emerged because I finally gave myself the space to see them.
 
My work is evolving into helping small business founders and solopreneurs build lives and businesses that honor who they are and what they value. It’s writing stories that matter and creating frameworks that help people choose with clarity and lead with intention.

And it’s about my own growth too, living inside the tension and the beauty of my own becoming.
 
Which is why I’m spending this season thinking so deeply about RESOLVE and why it matters so much for the future we’re creating.
 
In my last post, we talked about the moment resolve becomes real and the shift from “I can” to “I will.”

As a reminder, this is the overall framework we are exploring together:
 
The Framework of RESOLVE
 
R – Reality 
Begin with truth. See where you actually are before deciding where to go.

E – Expectation 
Set clear, honest standards for what “true” and “done” look like.

S – Structure 
Build the supports that make resolve sustainable.

O – Ownership
Take responsibility for choices, results, and adjustments.

L – Learning 
Learn what you need to know—and notice what helps or hinders your follow-through.

V – Values
Let your priorities reflect what truly matters.

E – Embodiment
Live your promises until they become who you are.
 
Now we’re moving to the following two parts of our framework: Structure and Ownership.
 
Because wanting something, even wanting it deeply, doesn’t make it happen.

The third facet of resolve (To remain steadfast in what you’ve chosen)  lives in the gap between desire and follow-through, and the only way across that gap is to build a bridge strong enough to carry your intentions into action.
 
That bridge is our next exploration:
 
Structure and Ownership
 
And just like any real bridge, it requires design, support, and your willingness to take the first step.

Together, those parts of our framework turn your promises into the promises you keep.
 
STRUCTURE: The Support That Makes Resolve Sustainable

We’ve all been told that willpower is the secret to success. But willpower is unreliable. It’s emotional. It fluctuates. It depends on how much sleep you got or what crisis arrived in your inbox.
 
Structure is different.
Structure is steady.

Structure protects your resolve from the exhaustion of constant decision-making.
 
James Clear said it best:

“You do not rise to the level of your goals.
You fall to the level of your systems.”

— James Clear, Atomic Habits

 Resolve collapses when we rely solely on willpower.

But when we build routines, boundaries, supports, and rhythms that hold our intentions in place, resolve becomes sustainable.
 
Benjamin Hardy takes it even further: 

“You don’t get what you want —
You get what you design for.”

— Benjamin Hardy, Willpower Doesn’t Work 

Design beats desire every time.
 
Structure is how we design our lives around the promises that matter.
 
It’s not restrictive.
It’s liberating.

It frees your willpower from having to carry the entire load.
 
Reflection:

What structure do I need to support what I’ve said I want?

What would make follow-through easier instead of harder?
 
Structure gives your resolve something solid to stand on, but structure alone can’t move you forward. That’s where our second segment comes into play.

For that, you need ownership.

Structure supports the bridge, but ownership is what compels you to cross it. 

OWNERSHIP — Where Resolve Becomes Identity

If structure gives resolve stability, ownership gives it strength.
 
And ownership isn’t a switch we flip. It’s a puzzle we assemble over time.
 
Each choice we make, each habit we reinforce, each moment we stop outsourcing blame  – these become the pieces that fit together and reveal the shape of the future we’re creating.
 
In other words, ownership isn’t a single “yes,” or even a single “no.” It’s the ongoing practice of aligning one piece after another with who we say we want to become.

In his book, The Power of No, James Altucher wrote:
 
“Each day you choose your future, or you choose your past.”
 
That’s ownership at its core.
 
It’s not about perfection or force.
It’s not about guilt or pressure.

It’s about self-leadership and staying conscious of the choices you make and those you avoid.
 
It’s about noticing the pieces that no longer fit.

The patterns that no longer align.
The excuses that erode trust.

And, perhaps most importantly, fully owning the reality that every time you say “yes” to one thing, you are saying “no” to something else.
 
When we treat ownership as a puzzle instead of a once-and-done contract, something powerful happens. We stop expecting ourselves to be perfect and start expecting ourselves to be honest. We build trust with ourselves piece by piece. Not because the path is flawless, but because our direction is true.
 
Reflection:

What pieces of my own leadership am I willing to pick up today?

Where am I avoiding responsibility, and what would it look like to take that piece back into my hands?
 
Ownership is this daily agreement you make with yourself:

“I am responsible for the life I’m creating.”
 
Not in a heavy, punishing way, but in a liberating one. Because when you take ownership, you no longer wait for conditions to be perfect, for motivation to strike, or for circumstances to shift in your favor.
 
You stop negotiating with your future and start participating in it. And piece by piece, your actions begin to reflect your intentions.

That’s the moment resolve becomes identity.
 
Continue to Build the Bridge
 
Structure builds a path.
Ownership gives you the strength to walk it.
 
Together, they turn “I can” into “I will.”
 
They create the bridge between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming.
 
The more we keep our promises to ourselves, the more we begin to believe that what we decide can become what we do. And once that happens, everything changes.

An Invitation
 
If you’re ready to build your own bridge from intention to follow-through in your work, your goals, your business, or your next chapter, this is the work I do with founders, solopreneurs, and those stepping into a new season with purpose.
 
If you want support, clarity, or partnership in that process, reach out.

Let’s explore what you’re building now and what it’s making possible for your next chapter.

The post How to Build the Bridge Between “I Can” and “I Will” appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

We live in a time when we are always searching for a better tool to achieve our goals. It might be an app, a gadget, software, or any one of the hundreds of things we have to choose from. We want to get things done with ease. Sometimes, it’s about speed, but usually, it is about making things just a bit easier.

This is especially the case when you are a solopreneur. After all, it’s just you – a staff of one. And all of the hats that need to be worn in a business are still right there, hanging on the rack, just waiting for you to put the next one on.

What we don’t usually look for is something else to do. We want to find things that make what we’re already doing easier. But I’m going to invite you to shift that thinking for a moment.

What if you added something to your routine that made everything else easier? That gives it a different consideration, I think. When I’m looking at my work through a strategist’s lens, my questions are these:

• What can I start?
• What can I end?
• What can I expand?
• What can I compact?

But before I can ask those questions and put the answers to work, I need to ask this question first:

• What impact am I creating?
• What impact do I want to create?

Another way to think about it is by asking what it is that you and your business are here to make possible. Before you can answer any questions on strategy, you have to know what the strategy is meant to serve.

Enter the business journal. You may already keep a personal journal. Many have gratitude journals and personal reflection journals. Those are mainstays for me as well. But I’ve also found that my business benefits when I keep a journal specific to my work.

Exploring the Benefits of a Business Journal

Keeping a business journal offers numerous benefits. One of the most straightforward benefits is that a business journal serves as an inspirational and motivational tool. It fuels the inner drive needed to pursue your goals relentlessly and avoid the pitfalls of endless “trial and error” phases.

Ongoing Benefits of Keeping a Business Journal

Creating your Vision: A business journal gives you a place to envision the potential growth and success of your enterprise. This vision can become a source of strength, helping to accelerate your efforts toward achieving your business goals.

Reflecting on Examples of Success: Your business journal entries about other businesses can also be incredibly inspiring. Reflecting on the risks they took and the qualities you admire in them can prompt immediate, actionable changes in your own business approach.

Setting and Revisiting Goals: It’s an effective tool for setting both short-term and long-term goals. Regularly revisiting these goals allows you to stay aligned with your current realities and future aspirations.

Enhancing Decision-Making: Journaling helps clarify thoughts and streamline decision-making processes. Writing down options and potential outcomes can simplify complex decisions.

Tracking Progress and Growth: A business journal allows you to document your milestones and growth over time. This not only motivates but also provides a valuable historical record for future planning and reflection.

Problem-Solving: Often, the solution to today’s problems can be found in yesterday’s reflections. A business journal can serve as a critical problem-solving tool, allowing you to preemptively think through potential challenges and devise solutions.

Stress Relief: Running a business is inherently stressful. Journaling provides a way to vent frustrations, worries, and challenges, thus clearing your mind and improving your focus on essential tasks.

Development Tool: By recording free-flowing ideas, you create a platform to brainstorm, design, and develop new concepts. This could include innovative products and services needed to propel your business forward.

Improving Communication Skills: Regular writing enhances your ability to articulate thoughts clearly and concisely, which can improve both verbal and written communications with partners, team members, and customers.

Enhancing Learning: Journaling about daily experiences and decisions helps you reflect on what works and what doesn’t, turning everyday activities into valuable learning opportunities.

Capturing Inspirational Moments: Inspiration can strike at unexpected moments. Keeping a journal on hand allows you to capture these sparks of creativity, which can be developed into new projects or strategies later.

A business journal is not just a record. It is a powerful tool that supports growth, fosters innovation, and solidifies your path to success. Whether it’s leveraging past insights, planning future strategies, or simply finding solace during turbulent times, a business journal is an indispensable asset for any entrepreneur.

However, the core value will not be about what you write. It will be in what you discover and the actions that come from those discoveries.

Whenever you write in your business journal, include what you’ve discovered and also reflect on how you will implement and leverage what you’ve learned, not unlike how we create value from reading books written by others.

Let’s go back to our initial questions.

From your journaling, you’ve determined what you want your business to make possible for you and those you serve.

Now, it’s time to create the action plan, and your journal will help you define it.

• What can I start?  

You only need to discover the first step as the rest will follow, but if you need a more defined picture, initially allow yourself no more than 3 – 5 steps.

• What can I end?

You may need resources for this work, and that might mean reallocating some of them from where they are today. What resources can you move that would allow you to have complete focus?

• What can I expand?

What are you already doing? Not everything requires that you start from a blank sheet of paper for your business plan. What are you already doing that you can expand?

• What can I connect?

Where can you bundle things to make them more efficient? We’ve all heard of habit stacking, and that’s part of this, but it’s also about goal pairing. What goals can you pair together to serve each other?

Journaling, especially for the entrepreneurial mind, can be an effective tool as you strive to build a business that makes a difference.

“Some of the most important conversations I’ve had have occurred with myself, jotting down notes on my travels. These quiet moments of reflection have allowed me to make better decisions and focus on what truly matters.”

~Richard Branson, Founder of Virgin Group

“Writing helps me clarify my thoughts. I simply write and think through business problems on paper, which often leads me to a sensible conclusion. It’s both a discipline and a driver.”

~Warren Buffett, CEO of Berkshire Hathaway

The post Can you write your way to a better business? appeared first on Kathi Laughman.