The sign may point in every direction, but the choice is still yours.
Last year, we lost a legend and one of my favorite actors. I don’t know of anyone in the entertainment industry I’ve admired more than Robert Redford. Even for those of us who didn’t know him personally, his work, both on and off the screen, gave us the sense that we did.
As I read the tributes that came pouring in from around the world, one phrase kept repeating: he made it look easy. That’s what pulled me into this reflection. Because in life, we know things rarely are.
That’s the mark of a true champion: They make the hard appear easy. And in doing so, they remind us that the dance between easy and hard is one of perception, not reality.
They make us believe it’s possible.
But Redford was also remembered for how dedicated he was to making it easy for others.
What a lovely way to be remembered. He entertained us. He educated us. And it seems that he edified everyone who crossed his path.
As I thought more about how what’s easy vs. what’s hard can be a lesson for us, I realized that at the heart of this is decision-making. Not in the sterile, analytical sense, but in the lived sense. The moment-to-moment process of choosing what to do, what to say, and when. All too often, we default to false categories rather than asking more nuanced, helpful questions.
In the end, decisions aren’t about what looks easy or what feels hard. They’re about what creates clarity, alignment, and possibility.
The Illusion of Easy and Hard
Just because something looks easy doesn’t mean it is. And just because something looks hard doesn’t mean it will be.
So often, the tasks we dread turn out to be surprisingly simple once we begin. Other times, what looks effortless from the outside required unseen effort and resilience.
We get stuck when we sort our choices into these two buckets: easy or hard. They are not fixed realities. What is easy for me may be hard for you. What feels impossible today may flow tomorrow. These labels are illusions, not decision filters.
The Pitfalls of Surface Surfing
I call this “surface surfing.”
We skim along the top of our decisions instead of diving deeper:
- It’s easy, so it can wait. Anyone could do it.
- It’s hard, so I’ll put it off. Maybe it’s not worth it.
These judgments disguise themselves as wisdom, but they’re often excuses. They give us permission to delay, minimize, or avoid the weight of real choice.
Nothing is inherently easy or hard.
There is no fixed reality that can apply.
These labels are not valid decision filters. They are illusions.
Beyond Right and Wrong
We do something similar with right and wrong.
Is this right or wrong? For whom? For when? For what?
Right and wrong, like easy and hard, are blunt instruments. They can stop us too soon. What seems right in one season may be wrong in another. What feels wrong for one person may be necessary for someone else.
Discernment goes deeper than categories. Otherwise, we reduce complex choices to lifeless binaries.
A Better Filter for Decisions
It has been many years since I first saw the tool I’m sharing here, but it’s one of those things that once you see it, you simply can’t unsee it. It stays with you.
In the case I first heard it, it was about thinking before you speak. But as I was reflecting this past week on how to create a clearer, cleaner filter for some of our decisions each day, it seemed like a fit here as well. It follows the word THINK. Here is what it lays out for us:
- Is it True? Am I being honest with myself about this choice?
- Is it Helpful? Will this move me closer to what I want to achieve, or serve someone else in a meaningful way?
- Is it Impactful? Will this action generate positive change?
- Is it Necessary Now? Is this something only I can do, or is it the right time to do it now?
- Is it Kind? Does this choice honor myself and others?
THINK before you speak. THINK before you decide.
Not every decision will satisfy every question. But even asking them interrupts surface surfing. They pull us out of the “easy/hard” and “right/wrong” binaries and invite us to a deeper kind of clarity.
When you strip away the illusions, decision-making isn’t about easy or hard. It isn’t even about right or wrong.
If we go beyond the THINK approach method, the better, and perhaps simpler questions are these:
- Does this serve what I want to achieve?
- Is it helpful — to me, to others, to the larger purpose I hold?
- What opportunity will be lost if I don’t act?
We should remember that true confidence doesn’t rely on certainty. But it does require clarity. And clarity comes from asking the right questions.
The next time you find yourself stalling, hesitating, or rationalizing, pause and ask:
- Am I judging this by whether it looks easy or hard?
- Am I defaulting to right/wrong instead of asking what is helpful?
- What question would bring me clarity right now?
You may discover that the choice itself hasn’t changed, but your relationship to it has. And that shift can be the difference between delay and momentum, between fear and confidence, between regret and possibility.
Every choice carries weight. But not every choice has to carry confusion.
When you pause to reflect, when you move beyond easy and hard, or right and wrong, you open the door to clear and confident choices. Choices that align. Choices that create possibility.
This is the part of my work I love most – helping people find their way to clarity through the questions they ask themselves.
