Many of us see the turning of a calendar page as a chance to begin anew. And, as a mark in time, it can be helpful, but the truth is that it takes more than just a date to experience true renewal.

That may be why so many of us end up disappointed pretty quickly as we venture into the new year to find that not much has changed. For that to happen, we need to do more. In fact, just about now is when we begin to feel those early pangs of what can quickly turn to regret.

But what is it we need to do? Do we need better goals? Perhaps a vision board? Those are tools in the same way our calendars can be, but they alone are still not going to bring the renewal that allows us to reclaim our best lives.

To do that, we need to take the time to immerse ourselves in the renewal process.

It is a practice we can all adopt and use at any time of year, but it can be especially helpful as we look ahead to what lies ahead as we move through life’s seasons.

What’s interesting is that when we take this approach, we find just as many things that need to end as any that need to begin.

Are you ready? Let’s get started.

R – REFLECT

Start by reflecting on where you are now. Look at your current commitments and investments of time, money, and energy. Take time to assess where you stand. Begin thinking about what may be missing or what may just be missing the mark.

E – EVALUATE

Now, we move on to evaluating the effectiveness and continued relevance of your existing commitments and investments. Are they aligned with what you want for yourself in this season of your life? Begin thinking about what you may need to let go of to make room for growth.

N – NURTURE

Ready for a brief pause? It’s time to consider that we may be disappointed with our results because we’ve failed to nurture our current goals and investments enough for them to deliver on their promise. Have you given the right amount of priority and care to what matters to you? At this point in the process, you begin to think about what resources you might need to shift or shore up to honor your priorities.

E – EVOLVE

With this step, we’re entering my favorite stage of the renewal process. Now, we open our hearts and minds to where we need to grow. Renewal is about growth. As you renew your commitments, be willing to adapt and refine them based on your current reality, but with a bias toward your desired future. Are you living today like you want tomorrow to be?

W – WRITE

Now, on to the mighty pen or pencil, if you’re like me. While this may not seem the case, this step could be the most important. I recommend that you write down your renewed commitments and investments. Putting them on paper can make them more tangible and help you stay accountable. Let them serve as a manifesto to guide you as you move forward.

And that is what renewal is about in the end: Moving forward.

It is a time to acknowledge that the old is gone and a new day has begun. We press that reset button and refocus on where we are and where we are going.

This process can be an incredible teaching moment. It allows us to seize opportunities that we might otherwise miss.

The renewal process is also a spiritual quest for me. Did you know that the Bible references renewal at least 66 times? That’s where I started my renewal practice this year. Diving into the spiritual element of renewal. I found this to be a part of every faith practice I looked at. The process becomes even more transformative when we allow ourselves to plug into a source of power beyond ourselves.

Let’s choose to let go of the status quo and deepen our understanding of ourselves and what is most important. And then move forward into that life with a renewed sense of purpose and direction.

This simple, five-step process can help you do that and bring everything you seek into alignment.

“If you want to know,
life is the principle of self-renewal,
it is constantly renewing and remaking
and changing and transfiguring itself.”

~Boris Pasternak,
Russian poet, Nobel Prize for Literature
for his novel Doctor Zhivago

The post Are you ready for what is next? appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

This past week, I took the time to go through my refrigerator and check the dates on everything.  It’s something I do periodically, but I had been putting it off this time. Mainly because I already knew this was going to be one of those times where I would be facing something that I despise: Waste. 

There is nothing that will spark negative thoughts for me faster than seeing waste. Especially when the waste could have easily been avoided. Like with those groceries. It reminded me of how we all have such good intentions that, somehow, don’t come to fruition. Especially at this time of year. And right now is usually when we first start feeling those pangs of remorse.

I had great plans to eat salads every day. But then I didn’t. Now I have wasted food.

I had great plans to accelerate my weight loss. But since I chose other foods, now I have wasted time.

I had great plans to boost my energy by eating foods that would help. Since I didn’t, I have wasted time and potential.

Waste.

It’s why resolve became so important to me for this year. When we practice true resolve and do what we say we will do, we reduce our waste. We regain essentials like time and energy. And yes, even money.

But to have resolve, we must first make choices we can and will honor.

Which is another place that I am keenly aware of when it comes to waste.

Wasted belief and opportunity.

There is a phrase sometimes used in business negotiations that, when you stop and think about it, has a broader application. It speaks to the difference between what someone actually pays and how much they were willing to pay. It’s referred to as the seller perhaps leaving “money on the table” by underpricing or giving in to negotiation pressure. It comes down to how much was possible from the transaction vs. how much was realized.

Let’s think about this beyond just financial negotiations and look at how we negotiate with ourselves about our lives and work. Over the past few months, I have found myself asking: How much life am I leaving on the table? Is there a difference between how much life is possible vs. how much I am settling for?

In a word – Yes.

This is where we wander into the wasteland of lost opportunities.

As I thought about this, the first thing that came to mind was learning how to recognize when it is happening.  After all, how would we ever know?

Wisdom from Thomas Edison prompted this personal inquiry for me with this statement: “When you think you have exhausted all of the possibilities, remember this: You haven’t!”

I thought about all the factors that might create a limited perspective of what was possible.

There were five that kept coming up. Here they are:

• Limiting Beliefs
• Limiting Choices
• Limiting Circle
• Limiting Practices
• Limiting Purpose

There is no question that when we limit what we believe about ourselves and our possibilities, we are leaving life on the table. After all, if we don’t think it’s possible, we won’t even try.

And the idea of only an either/or limitation in choice has always befuddled me. I lean toward both, or more, rather than just allowing for one or the other. Since when did choices become mutually exclusive? One way of thinking about this is:  Why settle for A or H – why not choose both and create AHA! True creativity rejects choices that are limited. Just imagine if we had settled for red and blue and never discovered purple!

There is a belief often taught in personal development circles that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.  While there are nuances to that, there is a kernel of truth here. Our sphere of influence is so important. How can you expect to stay inspired and encouraged if no one you are in the trenches with shares your vision or ideals?

The idea of limiting practices is typically my nemesis. Wanting to attain something is good, and it’s a start, but wanting something isn’t what gets it done. Our daily practices make that happen. We think of this for our health without question. But it’s true in our work as well. What must happen every day or every week to move the needle forward?

When we limit what we are willing to do daily, we leave life on the table. As I heard recently, when we aren’t achieving what we want, it’s rarely a lack of knowledge or know-how. We know what to do. We just don’t seem to know how to get ourselves to do it consistently! Sound familiar?

Candidly, the last one on the list came first or second when I first started thinking about this, but as new ones came up, it kept getting pushed down. I’m giving that some thought, but for now, consider that if you don’t have an unfettered purpose, you are leaving so much on the table.

It speaks to belief but goes beyond it. This is where we think about 10X, 100X, or possibly 1000X factors for what we believe we can accomplish. Not for ourselves, but as an agent of change in the world. I may have to rethink where this one ranks on the list.

What do you want to be true 90 days from now in your life or work? At the end of 2026? By the end of this decade?

Consider these factors for yourself. Make sure you aren’t leaving any life on the table.

Don’t waste a single moment more. Claim it all for yourself, for those you love, and for all the generations to follow.

If you’re not certain which area is the best place for you to begin and want a fresh perspective on how to interrogate what has value and reimagine what’s possible, I can help. Let’s explore what’s possible together.
 
Because everything we choose to fully invest in now becomes part of the foundation for what’s possible next.

The post How much life are you leaving on the table? appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

Work-life balance is something we hear about, even talk about, but it would seem we rarely achieve it.  A popular belief used to be that we can proportion ourselves out in some measured way across all the demands of our life and work. That hasn’t been successful in my experience. It just doesn’t match reality for most of us.

The more we attempt to create silos or compartmentalize our various roles, the more we face conflicting priorities and ultimately feel like we are failing somewhere or to someone. Quite frankly, it’s not a recipe for success on any level.

We are multi-dimensional beings, and that means that instead of creating unsustainable boundaries, we will be better served by creating an integrated view of who we are and the value we bring to our world.

Victor Hugo expressed it well when he said, “To put everything in balance is good, to put everything in harmony is better.”

Our lives are very much like an aircraft, balancing and leveling itself during flight, continually adjusting its position to stay on course.

When we went through the significant lifestyle and workstyle changes brought on by COVID, all the gaps we had been living with were fully exposed. Every boundary we may have put in place to segregate anything in our lives disappeared overnight, it seemed.

But what initially felt like an earthquake beneath our lives ended up being the way we found ourselves back to better lives. But as time has passed, it’s quite possible that we’ve begun drifting back to old practices that need to be addressed.

When we look at it from that perspective, certain clues will tell us if we need to make adjustments to remain on course.

Here are five checkpoints I invite you to consider:

1. The first one is the most important, and if this isn’t in check, there’s no reason to go further until it’s addressed. I learned this lesson from life and success mentor Jim Rohn, and it is simply this: Wherever you are, be there.
   • That’s your first check. If you are working and thinking about something else, you won’t be effective. If you are with friends and family but thinking about work, you won’t be fully engaged. We need to focus on the moment in order to course-correct.
2. The second one is what I call the calendar check. When I review my plan for the week each Sunday, I check ALL of my current targets against my calendar. Where are my health practices showing up? My learning practice? My relationship practices? If all the parts of my life aren’t there, it’s time for tuning.
   • This also applies to our money. That’s another check that helps here. We need to know we’ve got everything working as required for a successful journey.
3. A third check-in is less obvious but still important. It is a focus on your core values. For example, growth is a core value for me. I want to ensure that I am growing across multiple disciplines. My growth needs to align with all of my life, not just my profession. Whatever it is we seek, we also need to study.
   • The key is to know which of your core values you want to focus on and how you practice them in your life.
4. The fourth checkpoint is related to the first one, but its importance merits further reflection: relationships. There are different circles we live within, and each one requires nurturing, growth, and even some pruning. Begin with your inner circle of family and close friends, then move outward until you’ve touched all the circles that hold some degree of influence.
   • Are they thriving? Are they draining? Or even just waning. This is more of a check-up than a checkpoint, but it’s a key part of maintaining harmony in our lives.
5. The last point is the least specific but matters a great deal: Am I happy? Do I feel satisfied with how I am showing up in the world and the contribution I am making?
   • We can get so busy with the demands of life that we forget to enjoy life. This isn’t as easily measured because a certain amount of emotion is involved, but emotion and energy drive and fuel us.

Five checkpoints that can each contain clues for adjusting and calibrating how we live our lives to ensure we make our highest possible contribution in each moment.

These are disciplines of legacy and deserving of our attention. Balance? Perhaps not. Harmonized? Guarding that every day.

An Invitation

As always, if you are navigating your own moment of needing more harmony in your life as you explore who you are becoming next and want support, clarity, or partnership in that process, I can help.

This is the work I help founders, solopreneurs, and possibility-seekers do every day.

We can explore together what matters now and what will take you into your next season of life, work, or both.

The post 5 Clues You May Need A Balance Check appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

I once heard someone say that the point of a question isn’t to find an answer. Its true purpose is to help us find the next question. I found that fascinating and insightful. It is certainly true for me and right in line with how my analyst’s brain works.
 
But at some point, we do need to reach a conclusion, even if it doesn’t take the form of a fully developed answer. 
 
That being the case, what we need may not be more questions but different ones. Better ones.
 
This brings me to one of my favorite books by Warren Berger.
 
A More Beautiful Question: The Power of Inquiry to Spark Breakthrough Ideas
 
I was recently asked about my library and how I knew which books to keep, since I had to significantly reduce its size. We were talking about my move and how daunting a task it has been.

At first, it seemed like an impossible choice and task. Even if there was a move involved. But eventually, I realized that, in any case, the books themselves held the answer.

If the book was one I return to repeatedly, find myself gifting often, or that created a watershed moment or two for me, only then could it remain. Surprisingly, that group included far less than I had imagined.
 
And Warren Berger’s book was definitely on that list.

The question led me right to that place Mr. Berger encourages us to visit, where we can create forward movement by finding a more beautiful question.

You see, I love books. Even thinking about not being surrounded by them puts my heart into a tailspin. And yet, the right question shifted that and helped me find another way to explore the possibilities.

According to Mr. Berger, simply knowing answers may help you in school, but they will do very little for you beyond the classroom. His position is that what creates champion thinkers is knowing how to question.
 
That’s the distinction for him. It’s not just about “a question,” it’s about questioning.
 
If we want to unlock a deeper understanding and create movement that matters where it counts, we must be willing to challenge even the question.
 
His framework breaks it into three kinds of questions.

• Those that help you better understand the problem (why)
• Those that lead you to imagine possible solutions (what if)
• Those that will help you create a plan to implement those solutions in an optimal way (how)

Here are my top three notes from the book that went into my journal:
 
The most creative, successful people have mastered the art of inquiry, raising questions no one else is asking—and finding powerful answers.
 
A beautiful question is an ambitious yet actionable question that can begin to shift the way we perceive or think about something—and that might serve as a catalyst to bring about change.
 
The future belongs to the curious. The ones who are not afraid to try it, explore it, poke at it, question it, and turn it inside out.
 
The question moved from which books I should let go of to which books I should keep and why. That shifts the entire inquiry.

If you’re looking for your next read, this one is definitely a worthy option.
 
In the meantime, let’s all begin challenging our questions so that we can discover better answers. Let’s craft beautiful questions that will be stunning catalysts for change for ourselves and our world.

An Invitation

As always, if you are navigating your own moment of needing better questions as you explore who you are becoming next and want support, clarity, or partnership in that process, I can help.

This is the work I help founders, solopreneurs, and possibility-seekers do every day.

We can explore together what matters now and what will take you into your next season of life, work, or both.

The post What was the question again? appeared first on Kathi Laughman.

Have you ever noticed that accomplished people seem to have an uncanny ability to adapt and adjust in just the right places at just the right time? They seem to fluidly keep on keeping on without losing a step.

Since I quite often have to actively convince myself to keep going on some of my goals, the apparent ease of others intrigued me. The reality is that no matter how easy it may look for others, it is, in fact, a universal challenge. The key is in how we face those times when we simply want to quit.

What I’ve discovered is that there are two important and vastly different lenses when looking at these situations.

The first lens is that sometimes it’s okay to give ourselves permission to quit. Surprised? It really is okay sometimes to acknowledge we need to make another choice. It isn’t a choice if we can’t change our minds. And sometimes changing our mind is more than just our prerogative, it is imperative. Personal development expert Brian Tracy defines this as zero-based thinking. We ask ourselves: “Knowing what I know now, would I still…?” Then take the appropriate action if the answer is no. We have to allow for change.

The second lens is about finding our own motivation to keep going and not requiring ourselves to take on an approach that doesn’t work for us. Motivation and methods that work are unique for each of us, and they also change for us as we move through our lives. And even when you have that perfect motivation, it doesn’t mean that “keeping on” is always easy. Sometimes it is just hard. But we can do it!

Here are five things to consider when you need to regain your confidence and perseverance power to stay engaged and reach your next goal or level of life mastery:

#1: Keep your eye on the finish line

What is waiting for you at the end? What is that promise? When we stay focused on the end goal, it has a magnetic quality that will help pull us through tough times and circumstances. Remember, though, that it isn’t just about the goal — it’s what reaching that goal makes possible. Capture the feeling and lock onto that.

#2: Fuel (feed) your fire

Mother Teresa taught: “To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.”

How are you keeping your commitment vital and alive? What are you feeding to your internal energy furnace? Are you connected with others who have already reached the place you are striving to get to? Are you surrounding yourself with support and positive connections?

#3: Focus on consistent steps — not leaps & bounds

What we do consistently has a much higher impact on our results than what we do occasionally. The stream must be constantly moving to wear down the rock. When you are consistently working on something, you will attract even more opportunities. Use progressive milestones to help with this. No one goes from the white belt level to black without attaining each color in between. And each level achieved is a celebration.

#4: Make everything serve the goal

This is not just fortune cookie wisdom. Determined focus is what delivers destiny. That means you must bind together all your resources and deploy them as a single force of power. This is the secret revealed by Napoleon Hill in Think and Grow Rich. Get everything working in harmony with the same result, and you will get there.

#5: Don’t be afraid of setbacks

What scares you? For most of us, it is failure. To move past the fear, we just need to redefine failure. Failure is rarely a valid judgment. Your plan is going to change. That is not failure. That is intelligence at work. Define attempt as research. It is welcome progress. Embrace that thinking and you will re-channel the fear and stay on track.

Be strategic about choosing and staying your course. And always, live today like you want tomorrow to be. Choices get really clear when we start there.

(Originally posted on my blog – it was a subject that came up several times this week with my community so I’m sharing it again.)

The post For those times when you just want to quit! appeared first on Kathi Laughman.